


Royal Heart

by Cattyblaise



Series: Royal Heart [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-19 07:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3601707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cattyblaise/pseuds/Cattyblaise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Commander Lexa strikes the deal with the Mountain Men, she tries to prepare the Grounders for retaliation.  However, nothing could quite prepare her for what Clarke asks of her.</p><p>"Call in your royal heart.  Tell it bravery cannot be measured by a lack of fear.  It takes guts to tremble.  It takes so much tremble to love."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title, "Royal Heart," as well as the theme for this story, is inspired by Andrea Gibson's poem, "Royal Heart."

**Introduction**

 

The ground was covered in crunching twigs and Indra stepped lightly and with a self-awareness that only a seasoned warrior could have. Although the grounders were no longer being hunted by the Mountain Men, she couldn’t shake the old habit. Her eyes constantly scanned her surroundings and her feet made quick work of the ground below her as she made her way towards the nearby creek. Indra bent to crouch by the water, hand ready on the hilt of the sword at her waist. She chose to ignore the slight tremble of her hand.

_They had Khaled_. She had always suspected as much. However, she internally chastised herself for ever hoping that wasn’t the case. Hope and optimism were luxuries not afforded to grounder warriors. They fought and they survived. She chose to not dwell on the fact that saving him from the reaper fate might have been a possibility if the Commander had not sounded the retreat. Indra steeped her hands into the creek water, willing her resentment and sorrow to glide off with the dirt and blood that stained her fingertips. Indra did not doubt her loyalty to her Commander; she doubted herself. If she had been in the Commander’s position, would she have been able to make the same decision if it meant betraying Khaled? For her people? Could she have been as ruthless? She recalled her hesitation upon seeing him again. That moment of recognition and then indecision curled up like a sitting monster in her belly.

As the ripples atop the water’s surface began to cease, she caught the stare of her reflection. Tired eyes and hungry cheeks glared back at her, war paint still apparent from the battle, though smeared on her right temple. Indra took a still moment to mourn for Khaled, Octavia, and Lincoln. They were as dead to her and her people as the ghosts of the slaughtered eighteen. As the two hundred and fifty killed by the missile. As the _skaikru_ that they left behind. Indra stood, leaving her grief in the creek.

As the warrior chief made her way back to the grounder camp, she wondered if her Commander had as much trouble sleeping with her ghosts as she did.

 

**Chapter One**

 

_Four to six months following the deal._

 

“ _Kamp raun hir_ ,” _Heda_ Lexa whispered to her Second, commanding her to stay put. Annika had shown promise in recent hunting trips and Lexa had quickly noticed her talent and bravery. Her blonde curls were currently tightly wound into a braided crown atop her head and Annika’s fingers hungrily twirled an arrow in her right hand as she glanced up at her Commander in acknowledgement, “ _Sha, Heda_ ,” she nodded.

Lexa sat in a low hanging tree, crouched, her sword extended before her. There was a boar not far and the Commander wished to fetch it for her camp. Traditionally, she did not join hunting raids or parties, that was the responsibility of her warriors, but Lexa sought a fit training for Annika and with the recent peace with the Mountain Men and continued alliance with the remaining Clans, the wild animals were the grandest duel she could find for her Second. Lexa heard a twig snap below Annika’s feet and turned to send her a warning glare. The Second’s cheeks flushed for just a moment before she regained her composure and pulled her bow back, ready to strike. Lexa appreciated the fact that Annika showed no apology, simply moved on from her misstep and prepared to continue. She would make a warrior out of her yet.

The boar tensed for a moment at the snapping sound, but Lexa and Annika remained perfectly still until the beast began to continue plowing its snout through the dirt, looking for a rodent or worm for its next meal. Lexa lifted two fingers into the air to signal Annika to be ready to shoot. The boar released a disgruntled noise as it continued to sniff about just as Lexa dropped her hand, her eyes watching Annika carefully. Her Second released her arrow practically in sync with the commander’s signal. The arrow ripped through the air before landing with a _thunk_ in the trunk of a tree, a mere half an inch above the boar’s neck. The Commander had no time to convey disappointment or annoyance because the boar immediately began to charge towards her Second, emitting a growling yelp. Annika’s bow fell to the ground with no regard from the archer as she quickly turned and began to run. Lexa looked on as several other boars began to emerge from surrounding bushes and overgrown grass, all stampeding towards the frightened blonde. The fearful noise from the first boar must have worried the others in the vicinity.

“Annika!” Lexa yelled, though her voice was barely heard over the beat of hooves against the forest floor. The Commander swung down from the safety of her branch, plummeting her sword into the back of the last passing boar of the herd. Her boots hit the ground, one foot in front of the other, as her eyes scanned the tree line looking for that familiar blonde hair. “Annika?” she cried again, her eyes squinting as the dirt and dust began to settle back to the ground after the stampede.

Commander Lexa spent over two hours searching the woods for her Second. There was no sign of her, alive or dead. Lexa was torn between being relieved at not finding her Second’s remains, or having an increased worry that Annika had seemingly vanished. The grounders’ _Heda_ realized the sun would soon begin to set and knew she needed to return to her people. A search party would need to be released the following day, if she wished to find Annika. Lexa rubbed her sword against her armor-clad leg, wiping any boar blood that remained or hadn’t dried already.

“ _This is how we learn_ ,” Lexa recalled Anya’s teachings, her former Commander. They gave young teenagers, sometimes children, weapons and asked them to fight. They threw them into combat so they could learn firsthand. This was how they survived. This was their way.

Clarke Griffin reminded Lexa that ways could be changed, though. By now, everyone had heard the legend of Clarke of the _skaikru_. The Commander’s scouts had watched, hidden, from the tree line as the sky people had traveled from the Mountain Men’s bunker back to Camp Jaha. The day the report came to Lexa’s command tent that Clarke and her people survived, the _Heda_ had been thankful she was sitting in her Commander’s throne, for her knees would have surely buckled. The grounders remained on high alert at their camp for almost two months, awaiting a revenge attack from the _skaikru_ , but it never came. Their truce was no longer valid, but Lexa had no war with them any longer, not after her betrayal. Apparently, they sought no war with her either. Not yet, anyway.

Occasionally, Lexa’s scouts would report seeing a sky person in the forest, hunting or hiking, searching for someone, perhaps. Neither party attacked, though, and they seemed to generally avoid one another. Just once, Lexa inquired as to whether or not her scouts had seen or heard from Clarke. They simply shook their heads and the Commander had not asked again since then. A quiet, unspoken truce laid over the lands between the grounders and the sky people. Both were recovering from the effects of war and loss and neither party wished to willingly jump back into battle. The Commander was not foolish, however, and wondered how long this calm would last. Therefore, she recruited a Second, Annika. _Heda_ anticipated that eventually the _skaikru_ would seek revenge, or she would have to pay for her betrayal. Regardless, Lexa knew they could no longer trust her and she had to keep her leadership, her people, safe.

Lexa called in _Trigedasleng_ to the warriors standing post outside her camp. They immediately stepped to the side and allowed their Commander entry. Lexa was sheathing her sword and making her way to her tent when a tense Indra approached her. “ _Sha_ , Indra?” the Commander inquired. “Annika is lost,” she added, “we must search for her at daybreak.”

“Annika is here, _Heda_ ,” Indra swallowed dryly, meeting the Commander’s eyes.

Lexa stopped at the entrance of her tent, “Where is she?”

“She’s not alone,” Indra whispered, a deep gravel to her voice, as she led the Commander towards the center of their camp. Grounders were gathering around the large fire that crackled in the middle of camp, an area generally used for down time or shared meals. Bodies stepped aside naturally as Lexa walked towards the fire, her paint-adorned eyes squinted slightly through the smoke. “ _Heda_.” _“Heda_.” “Commander.” “ _Heda_.” The grounders nearest her bowed their heads and greeted her with respect as she stepped forward.

Finally, Lexa stood before the fire, Annika kneeled on the ground to the side of it, her hands bound behind her back with frayed rope. Splotches of dried mud appeared on the skin that was visible and her light armor. Her face showed signs of what would be harsh bruises in days to come. A knife was currently held to her throat by her captor.

Indra took her place to the right and slightly behind Lexa. “ _Skaikru_ ,” the chief all but spat the word out, “refused to release her until she could talk to you.”

Lexa steadily raised her gaze from her Second’s grim face, to the leader of the sky people. Her jaw clenched and her sword felt heavier than usual at her side. The corners of her eyes stung and her head felt light, yet clouded. Lexa took in all the Grounders looking to her for guidance; she would not falter.

The Commander briefly inclined her head towards the other familiar blonde that stood beside the grounders’ fire, “Clarke.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me for updates at cattyblaise.tumblr.com!

Blood speckled Clarke’s jacket. Her hair was a ratty mess and there was dried mud all over her. Her breathing was ragged and there were dark circles under her eyes. Lexa noticed red marks on her face that would later bruise. The Commander was unsure whether to be proud of Annika for clearly not being taken without a fight, despite the fact that she was roughly half of Clarke’s size, or to be irritated that the _skaikru_ leader was injured by her people’s hands.

The grounders’ _Heda_ looked at Clarke with great care. Her teeth clenched just for a moment before she took great pains to remind the young Griffin, “ _Jus drein jus daun_ , Clarke.” Lexa wanted to remind the _skaikru_ that her people would not easily forget that _blood must have blood_. If she murdered Annika before their eyes, the Commander’s new Second whom they had grown to respect and adore, the grounders would not easily forgive.

“ _Jus drein jus daun_?” Clarke scoffed, clearly finding a sick, ironic humor in the phrase Lexa repeated back to her. “What about the blood of my people that you left at Mount Weather?”

The Commander noticed Clarke’s knife shaking slightly at the neck of her Second. Annika regarded Lexa with fairly emotionless eyes. The fact that the idea of death no longer scared her young warriors caused a greater sadness in Lexa than she cared to acknowledge. “Let her go,” Lexa commanded, unsheathing her sword to defend herself, “ _Yu gonplei ste ain_.” _Your fight is with me_ , she announced, nodding to Indra to retreat as the Chief began to withdraw her weapon as well.

Frustrated, Clarke pushed Annika to the side. The Commander’s Second quickly took refuge in the on-looking grounders who swiftly got to work at unbinding her hands and addressing her wounds. Lexa paced in typical fashion around Clarke, sword ready, unwilling to make the first move. The Grounders watched their leader with fixed expressions. The sky leader glanced around her surroundings before tossing her knife to the ground, hands raised in a surrendering manner, “I just wanted to talk,” she explained, clearly exasperated and exhausted.

Clarke’s lips were chapped. She hadn’t bathed in days and her stomach growled from malnutrition. She had grabbed no rations, extra clothing, or sheltering items for herself when she departed Camp Jaha. All she had was her knife and the clothes on her back. She had survived off of the land; her Earth Skills class only providing the most basic of knowledge regarding which plants or insects may have been safe to eat. Most of the time she simply closed her eyes and hoped for the best. At times, she thought perhaps death would be a respite from everything within the past half year haunting her.

Lexa nodded curtly, sliding her sword down by her side. Her eyes dragged over Clarke in silence, almost uncomfortably. “I will have my men see to your wounds.” The healers at her side moved to the sky leader before Lexa could finish her sentence. “You need food and rest.” The Commander added, beginning to walk back towards her tent, “then you will have your talk.”

\-----

The stew that was served to Clarke smelled faintly of feet, but the _skaikru_ leader was in no mood to be picky. She tasted rabbit and vegetables and nearly let out a satisfied sound of pleasure as the warm liquid slid down her throat and into her empty belly. Clarke had sorely been reminded of how weak her survival skills in the wild were once she left Camp Jaha. Although she hadn’t necessarily been living a luxurious life previously, she had been kept well fed and had shelter, albeit shaky at times. She had had people she could depend on. In the woods, all Clarke had was herself.

And her thoughts.

The solitude had forced Clarke to relive her past decisions on repeat. She often awoke with night sweats, (on the rare occasions that she managed to fall asleep) countless nightmares with a shot Dante, a burnt Maya, a crying Jasper, and even a betraying Lexa, to name a few. Clarke swirled her metal spoon in the stew with her right hand, her left hand worrying at a frayed string on an oversized tunic a grounder woman had loaned her. She had thought of refusing Lexa’s hospitality, if only to make a principled point. However, the offer of food and rest was too good to reject, and her physical needs triumphed over her pride.

After a hot meal and almost a full night’s rest, punctuated by only two horrific dreams, Clarke had slowly began to feel more like herself again. She had recently simply felt like a silhouette of her previous self. The young _skaikru_ leader had been idly shaving the bark off a nearby tree with her knife, trying to decide what her next move was, as she’d been doing for months, when she’d heard the boar stampede. A lithe, fair-headed girl was running straight towards her, eyes set forward. Without thinking, Clarke had grabbed her mid-waist and rolled across the ground several feet from the stomping hooves.

“Annika?” Clarke’s hand had slapped over the mouth of the young girl as she recognized that familiar voice, yelling out for her fellow grounder. The captured girl bucked and fought against Clarke’s grasp with an untamed fight. The blonde Griffin placed her knife blade in front of the grounder’s eyes so she could see she was armed and willing to hurt her, if necessary. Annika lessened her fight, though only fractionally and with great reluctance. Clarke managed to keep the two of them hidden as Lexa searched the area. And as the Commander had moved on, retracing her steps behind her, Clarke had headed straight for the grounder camp, a captured Annika in tow. She knew Lexa would be back at her camp eventually. It was not like Lexa to desert her people.

 _Like she did,_ Clarke grappled with her self-loathing, her decision to desert Camp Jaha. At the time, she felt it had been the wisest choice for her people. Honestly, a portion of herself still agreed. If her people were not forced to see her, they would not be forced to face the decision that was made that day to kill an entire population of people at Mount Weather. However, it also selfishly granted Clarke a reprieve, not only from leading her people, but a reprieve from herself. Instead of concerning herself with the lives of others, she had only herself to care for. In the forest, she was free from others, and free from her own identity.

Like clockwork, Clarke was at the Commander’s tent the following morning. Lexa had anticipated this, however, and called out, “ _Teik em gouthru_ ,” to her guards, instructing them to let her pass as soon as she saw the sky leader’s blonde curls through her tent flaps whipping in the wind.

Clarke scanned the tent as she entered; they were alone. Lexa stood next to a nearby table; she was without war paint or armor, but her sword remained at her side as usual. Clarke had so many questions for Lexa. However, for each question, she already knew the answer. They stood in silence for a long while, trading glances between each other and the inside of the tent.

“You wished to speak with me,” Lexa finally prompted. The Commander no longer wished to entertain her inner conflict of being relieved or elated to see Clarke, and battling with the fact that she knew Clarke now hated her. She refused to regret her decision; it saved her people. But the remorse that Lexa held for betraying and hurting Clarke would live with her alongside Costia’s ghost.

“Who is Annika?” Clarke asked. The grounders’ _Heda_ was not expecting this question, but the flicker of surprise was only present on her face for a brief moment.

“She’s my Second,” Lexa replied, matter-of-factly.

Clarke idly played with a candle flame on Lexa’s table, nodding slowly. “I didn’t know you had a Second.”

“I chose her after the battle,” Lexa informed, growing suspicious of the conversation. She knew Clarke had not traveled all this way and suffered all this trouble to reacquaint herself with a few grounders. “I needed to consider strong leadership for my people.”

“You think she’s strong? I took her down.” Clarke may have smirked, or it may have been the candlelight dancing games across her face. Smiles were too hard to come by for the blonde sky person nowadays.

“I didn’t say she was ready,” Lexa responded, quirking her right eyebrow upwards.

“How is Indra doing?” Clarke changed the subject, squinting outside through the tent flaps distractedly.

“Why are you so concerned with my people, Clarke?” Lexa retorted, clearly eager for Clarke to reach her point.

“You betrayed me,” Clarke reminded her. The blonde’s face darkened and any remnant of an earlier smirk or lightheartedness was now gone. “You left me at Mount Weather, you left all my people there to die, you left _me_ to die.” Clarke advanced upon Lexa, though the Commander stood her ground. The space between them quickly decreased. Clarke’s voice had weakened marginally at the end of her sentence and she could feel tears threatening to betray her behind her eyes, but she refused to surrender to them.

“I had to make a choice for my people, Clarke.” Lexa did not necessarily care to defend herself, rather, she just stated it as fact.

Clarke swallowed with difficulty before meeting the Commander’s gaze. “I’d say you owe me a favor, wouldn’t you?”

Lexa was hesitant to respond. Her eyes rested on Clarke’s face with obvious care. The Commander had not a guess as to what Clarke’s request might be. However, there was not a single thing that the Commander felt she could deny the sky leader aside from the sacrifice of her people.

“ _Sha, Clarke kom skaikru_ ,” Lexa whispered in response, eyes sliding downwards before meeting Clarke’s once more, bracing herself for the sky leader’s demands.

Clarke lightly sighed in relief. “I need you to take me to the Ice Nation.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follow me at cattyblaise.tumblr.com for updates!

 

 

 

 

_Two to three months following the deal._

 

 _It was lightly raining outside and Clarke was taking shelter in a tree, the thick branches and leaves shielding her from the overcast weather. She dove her hands into the pockets of her jacket, feeling the radio in her hand for the millionth time. She still held onto the radio she had used to communicate with Bellamy during his invasion into Mount Weather. Perhaps she subconsciously felt it was a link to her fellow leader in the young Blake boy. He had self-sacrificially agreed to share the burden of pulling the lever at Mount Weather with her. She could never deny how much she leaned on his strength. However, they both knew that it was ultimately Clarke’s decision, her call. Her ghosts._  
  
_The_ skaikru _leader removed the radio from her pocket and rubbed her thumb thoughtfully over the buttons. She had also thought to keep it to be used in dire circumstances. The tree she currently sat in rooted itself on the outskirts of Camp Jaha. Clarke was able to make out the outlying fence and moving figures within, but no faces or actions were clearly discernible, especially through the rain. After watching her sky people for some time, Clarke slowly and thoughtfully slid her thumb around the power button of the radio and turned the device on. Static._  
  
_The radio jumped frequencies like it was playing a game of “hot potato,” skipping from one channel to the next. The Griffin girl was not ready to communicate with her allies at Camp Jaha, but she found the white noise to be oddly comforting. It reminded her of a certain mechanic she had managed to befriend, despite everything they had endured. She briefly wondered what project Raven was currently working on. Clarke closed her eyes and thought of those closest to her, allowing the brief inner peace she had obtained to lull her into a warm –_  
  
_“---k St-st-sta---I rep – c-call – Ark –“ Clarke jolted out of her reverie, nearly falling out of the tree in the process. She grabbed the trunk to steady herself, her other hand clutching the radio, white-knuckled. The sky people’s young leader tweaked at the frequency button as she leaned back against the tree trunk. Her blue eyes widened as she feverishly sought the channel that had just been transmitting. “-sla Station calling Ark Station, I repeat, this is Tesla Station calling Ark Station,” Clarke swallowed, although her mouth was dry. She didn’t even notice that she was holding her breath. “We have been on the ground for...” the voice sighed, obviously distressed, “awhile. We have survivors, I repeat, we have survivors.” The male voice transmitting sounded tired and abandoned. “I-I don’t know for how long. We are under attack by the ground people here. Yes, there are... Earth survivors. And they’re – they’re killing us. Please, if you get this, please come help us.” The voice sounded far away for a moment before returning, “I don’t know our exact location, we are North. Far North. It’s so cold. The ground people here call themselves…_ Azgeda _.” The Ice Nation. Clarke could feel it in her bones before the transmission had even ended._  
  
_“Yes, hello, this is Clarke Griffin of the 100, I read you. Are you there? Over.” She tried to communicate with the voice, but she simply received the same message in response, obviously recorded to replay indefinitely over the frequency. She had no way of communicating with them now and no way of even guessing how long ago that transmission had been recorded. Clarke wondered briefly how they had not previously heard this transmission, and then she recalled the Mountain Men’s jamming capabilities. They had been blocking all frequencies except for the lone one she and Bellamy had used to contact. However, with the Mountain Men now gone, the frequencies were no longer being actively jammed and open to anyone with a radio device, such as Clarke’s._  
  
Had Camp Jaha heard this? _She silently wondered. Clarke rolled to her knees, then crouched to stand upon the solid branch she had been resting on. Her right arm swung up to the branch above her to provide stability. She squinted through the rain at her old Camp. Nothing appeared to be amiss; there was no rushing or panicking that she could witness. The parties she had seen departing from the Camp were merely hunting for food. Granted, she didn’t usually watch the Camp, but her gut twisted internally as if to warn her that her sky people were unaware that there were more survivors out there. She had to tell them._

\---

 _Clarke stayed awake at watch outside Camp Jaha for three days and nights. She wished to speak with only one person and was forced to wait until he left the sky people’s land. She remained well-hidden within the tree line and watched with desperate eyes as groups left and returned. She couldn’t wait much longer._  
  
_On the fourth day, early in the morning, Clarke finally saw Bellamy. He was preparing a pack just inside Camp Jaha’s fence, shoving a day’s rations and few metal tools into his backpack. There was a certain lightness to his movements, the darkness of Mount Weather had left his eyes and he was teasing Octavia over his shoulder. The sun was beginning to rise and cast a faint, divine glow over the camp. The former Chief’s Second was leaning her head atop Lincoln’s shoulder and merely smirked at her older sibling in response to whatever brotherly remark he had sent her way._  
  
_Clarke looked on as movement began to stir around the camp. She caught sight of her old friends. Some of them were actually smiling. The sin and taint of Mount Weather was dissipating here and their young leader knew then that she could not ask them to return to it with her. Her people had already given too much of themselves; and she had sworn to carry their burdens for them._  
  
_The_ skaikru _leader then realized that there was only one person who knew the Ice Nation well enough to lead her there. Only one person that she felt she could ask to make such a sacrifice. Only one person that owed her a debt such as this._

_Clarke turned and left. She didn’t look back. If she had, she might have noticed Bellamy scanning the tree line, desperately searching for their former leader. As he did every day._

_\---_

“No.” Lexa responded, almost immediately.  
  
“What?” Clarke asked incredulously. “Are you kidding me?”  
  
Lexa’s fist pounded against the table beside her, startling Clarke. “You ask too much.”  
  
“ _I_ ask too much? You left me and my people to die. I am giving you an opportunity to redeem yourself.”  
  
“By demanding I take you to the people that murdered Costia?” Lexa shook her head, as if in disbelief at Clarke’s audacity. “That is not redemption. That is foolishness.”  
  
Lexa had been capable of ignoring her grievances with the _Azgeda_ for the purpose of the alliance. However, it did not follow that she was eager to journey to them, or that she would be a welcome visitor. Furthermore, the concept that she would display to them her care for Clarke was absolutely unthinkable. They had found her weakness before, she would not make it so easy for them a second time.  
  
“Lexa, _please_ ,” Clarke stared holes into the Commander, her gaze desperate. The sky leader knew she was asking a great deal of the grounders’ _Heda_ , but she knew she had no other option.

“Why?” Lexa’s curiosity was piqued.  
  
“I heard – I,” Clarke hesitated. Lexa had sacrificed her sky people for her own before, Clarke was not willing to let her do so again. Perhaps keeping the message a secret would provide her leverage. “I just need to get there,” she finally decided.

Lexa nodded slowly. “I will not take you,” she concluded, though, she continued before Clarke could object. “There are a few _Azgeda_ still here from the war. I can get you an audience with them. Perhaps they will agree to take you with them.”

Clarke merely nodded in response and turned to leave the Commander’s tent. Lexa watched her back thoughtfully. She did not trust the _Azgeda_ , and certainly not with Clarke’s life. Unfortunately, she also knew the sky leader was as determined as she was and would not stop.

\---

“No.” The Ice Nation leader practically spat at Clarke in response.  
  
“ _Beja_ ,” Clarke pleaded in _Trigedasleng_.  
  
“Get the _skaikru_ out of my tent,” the _Azgeda_ leader demanded, barely deigning to glance in Clarke’s direction.  
  
Two guards immediately wrapped their arms around Clarke’s on both sides, forcing her towards the tent exit. Clarke fought, trying to shake out of their grips. “I know what you’re doing!” She desperately cried. She was tired of being told “no,” of not being believed, of having to wear these burdens like a martyr. She refused to allow more people to die. The fact that she continued to have this much fire inside her after all she had endured was as surprising to her as it was to anyone else.

The Ice Nation leader barely hesitated as she cried out at him, “I know that you have my people and that you’re killing them!” she continued, but her cries were for naught. The two guards had managed to get her out of their tent, tightly closing it behind her. Clarke rubbed at her upper arms, brow furrowed, their tight grasps would leave bruises.  
  
Helpless, Clarke walked back to the makeshift tent the grounders had provided for her. It had started to rain again, but the sky leader didn’t look up, barely noticed. She would set out in the morning on her own. The transmission had simply implied that they were far North; she would travel North. Perhaps it was a suicide mission, maybe that’s what she was looking for. She would need rations, warm clothes, perhaps supplies for shelter; she would ask Lexa in the morning as to what they could spare –  
  
Clarke pulled back the entry flap to her tent to see a tense Commander standing by her cot. Her hand rested, poised on her sword; her body was calm, but her face displayed an array of emotions she was unable to hide.  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lexa questioned, staring at Clarke intensely.  
  
“I couldn’t trust you to help my people,” Clarke replied, still stunned at seeing Lexa standing in her tent.  
  
Clarke’s words visibly hurt Lexa, though she quickly recovered. The Commander inquired as to how Clarke discovered this information, to which Clarke finally explained the transmission and showed Lexa her radio.  
  
The _Heda_ was silent in thought, her lips slightly pursed. “And you are sure this is accurate?” Lexa wondered aloud, fiddling with the radio device.  
  
“Yes,” Clarke confirmed, moving to sit on her cot. Her exhaustion felt as if it was seeping into her bones.  
  
Lexa set the radio on the table in Clarke’s tent. “Then rest. We will leave at sunrise.”  
  
“What?” Clarke asked skeptically, her voice weak.  
  
“I will take you to the Ice Nation, Clarke.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me at cattyblaise.tumblr.com for updates!

The sun was barely peeking over the horizon and _Heda_ Lexa was already barking orders to her warriors.

“ _Sis em op_!”

“ _Shof op, osir na bants_.”

The Commander walked with dominance around her camp and those behind her followed her orders immediately. Their loyalty to Lexa was unflinching.

Lexa turned as she saw a peek of blonde hair emerging from the nearby tent. Clarke had awoken to the Commander’s growling _Tridegasleng_ as the memories of the previous evening hurtled back to her.

“Clarke,” the Commander greeted her, watching her carefully as the blonde pushed her hair back off her forehead, still groggy from her heavy sleep. “We will depart soon.”

“Who exactly is we?” Clarke croaked as she rubbed her neck, her skin was beginning to show her fight with Annika and her muscles were feeling it, too.

“You and I,” Lexa stated, “I have also asked Indra and Annika to travel with us.” The Commander turned her eyes towards five horses being prepared by her Second and Warrior Chief. Indra did not look exactly pleased; though, Clarke noted, she never truly did.

“Who is the fifth horse for?” Clarke asked, as she shoved her shoulders into a thick, black grounder jacket, cut to her waist.

“I have also asked one of the clan’s healers to attend,” Lexa admitted, “You can’t be sure of what we will find. Her name is Katya.”

Clarke ignored Lexa’s ominous tone as she began to slip her feet into a pair of large boots. Lexa followed Clarke into her tent as Clarke gathered the few grounder items that had been loaned to her during the duration of her stay. A few clothing items, some food rations, an extra blanket. Hesitantly, Clarke raised her eyes to meet Lexa’s. “I really appreciate you doing this for me, Lexa,” she confessed, “I know – I know you don’t have to.”

Lexa raised her head and regarded Clarke with softened eyes. The Commander took a step towards Clarke, unsure of what to do or say to accurately convey her remorse or care for Clarke. The black war paint surrounding her eyes provided a stark contrast to just how gentle her gaze was. “I have a debt to pay to you, Clarke,” she softly admitted.

“A commander has no debts,” Indra barked from behind them; she had quietly stood at the tent’s entrance, unnoticed by the two girls. Lexa rapidly turned to meet Indra’s eyes with a narrowed glare to which Indra responded, “The Camp is ready for you, _Heda_ ,” before excusing herself from the leaders’ presence.

Lexa’s eyes slightly softened as they returned to Clarke, though her moment of vulnerability had vanished. “I must see to my clan’s leadership in my absence.” The Commander turned to leave the tent, dismissively calling over her shoulder, “I will meet you by the horses when I am finished.”

 

\---

 

Indra insisted on riding alongside her _Heda_ , though Clarke wasn’t sure if she would have suggested otherwise considering the silences between her and Lexa were full, heavy and barely tolerable. However, this left Clarke to trail behind them, right next to Annika. They both bobbed along on their horses, covered in bruises and scrapes from their scuffle in the woods. The sky leader may have thought it comical to see them riding side-by-side in their condition if she had not been one of them. However, the irony was not lost on Lexa, who sneaked a quick smile to herself as she glanced back. Katya trailed behind in the back, staying quiet and keeping to herself. As she was a healer and not a warrior, her English was limited and Clarke only heard her slight humming to herself on occasion.

Lexa and Indra conversed every now and then. Though, they spoke in _Tridegasleng_ and spoke in quick, staccato sentences. Clarke could translate a word or two at times, but most of what they said was lost on her. Annika remained quiet throughout the first day, only speaking when or if Lexa addressed her. Although, her posture and facial expression relayed that she was not exactly pleased to be riding alongside the sky person.

Their first day of travel was uneventful. They ran into a few boars at one point, but they were easily spooked by their horses and took off in the opposite direction. Lexa pulled the reins of her horse as the sun began to set beyond the horizon. “We’ll make camp here,” she decided, leading them into a clearing off their path.

Dismounting from their horses, all five women began to gather their shelter supplies and blankets. Indra crouched to the ground to start a small fire. They worked in unison; they rarely spoke to one another, but there was a silent flow to their group. Annika began leading the horses one-by-one to a nearby creek. Katya was busying herself with blankets and tarps, creating pallets for herself and her travel companions. Clarke began gathering food from their supplies to feed everyone, and Lexa stood watch by the horses, sneaking Clarke’s horse an apple she’d stowed away in her bag.

As the sun completely disappeared and was replaced by a starlit sky, the women gathered around the fire that Indra had effortlessly built. Clarke found herself sitting next to Annika once again and made an effort to speak with the young girl. “I’m sorry about before. I didn’t want to hurt you,” she admitted.

Annika glanced towards Lexa as if seeking permission, before turning towards Clarke. The Second merely nodded her head in acknowledgement. She was almost as verbose as her Commander.

“How do you like being the Commander’s Second?” Clarke persevered, shaking a few berries in her hand absent-mindedly.

Annika disapproved of Clarke’s dismissive nature, given the heaviness of her question. “It is an honor to have _Leksa_ as my mentor,” she replied bitingly.

Clarke raised her eyebrows in response, then looked up to find Lexa studying the two of them. A hint of a smile teased at the corners of her mouth before the Commander busied herself with her reheated stew once more.

 

\---

 

Clarke tossed and turned in her blankets, which were wrapped like a cocoon around her. It wasn’t necessarily the camping or the surroundings, though neither were entirely comfortable, she was trapped in her own thoughts once again. Every time she closed her eyes she simply heard the desperate transmission from Tesla station, or Jasper crying, or her mother demanding to know how Clarke could have let that missile hit Tondc. The sky leader sat up from her pallet on the ground, rubbing the night sweat from her forehead. Her eyes darted towards the starving fire where she saw Lexa awake, staring thoughtfully into the few, lingering flames.

The ground crunched quietly under her feet as Clarke approached the center of the meager campsite. Lexa glanced up briefly at the _skaikru_ leader. “You should be sleeping,” she stated without meeting Clarke’s eyes.

“As should you,” Clarke responded dryly.

“I’m keeping watch,” the Commander defended. She sat with her knees bent in front of her, elbows draped casually over the caps. Her sword lied loyally on the ground beside her. “We have a long journey ahead of us,” Lexa continued.

“And you’re just going to stay up every night on guard?” Clarke mocked.

“If that’s what it takes.” Lexa turned her head to look at Clarke, her tone somber.

The blonde bent to sit beside Lexa, leaving a foot or two of space between them. She crossed her legs in front of her, stretching them out. Her palms laid flat against the ground behind her, supporting her back. “Why are you doing this?” Clarke asked, then buried her chin into her shoulder away from Lexa, embarrassed with herself.

“I already explained myself,” Lexa reasoned, idly throwing a few blades of grass into the fire that was nearly faded.

“That’s it, then?” Clarke turned back to Lexa, her voice pained, but strong.

The Commander searched the sky leader’s eyes for something she could not quite place. Lexa wished to convey to Clarke how badly she hated deserting her that day at Mount Weather. It took Lexa great strength to even face herself each morning after her betrayal; the only thing that motivated her was her loyalty to her people. She wondered if Clarke had reasoned that the _skaikru_ had made a similar decision that fateful day by obliterating the Mountain Men. They both had made impossible decisions to save their people. However, Clarke hadn’t submitted the one she loved to death by doing so; Lexa had. _Heda_ lived with her choice; although, she doubted she would ever forgive herself. Clarke now carried herself in a way which conveyed that she, too, held onto scars that would never completely disappear. It brought Lexa great comfort, and sadness along with it, that she and Clarke were not too different.

Despite Lexa’s feelings for the sky girl, she knew she could not look at her without seeing the pain she had caused Clarke. “That’s it, Clarke,” Lexa responded, barely above a whisper. The Commander moved to stand, grabbing her sword on her way up. “You should rest, we have a long day tomorrow.”

Lexa turned to leave Clarke; the blonde sky girl sat motionless on the ground. The fire had gone out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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Hours turned to days, days to weeks, as they traveled farther north, the temperature dropped increasingly. The women now wore thick furs over their armor or clothing. The path to the Ice Nation was a lonely one.

Each of them took turns standing guard at night. Although, on the nights that it was Clarke’s turn, all the grounder women slept especially lightly and Lexa always managed to decide to care for her horse or sharpen her sword on those evenings. Indra had actually begun to warm up to Clarke’s presence. Though, for Indra, that simply suggested she was no longer outwardly hostile to the _skaikru_ leader and almost held a reluctant respect for her, much like she had had for Octavia. Katya and Annika spent their evenings playing a grounder game together that consisted of a few pebbles and a board they had created from a stray, small pallet of wood. Katya’s language barrier made her feel more innocent and young to Clarke, though she was clearly older than her and Lexa. Annika was barely an adolescent, but too sharp for her years. The healer and the Second got along quite well.

Clarke and Lexa managed a strained relationship. Clarke had begun to refer to her as _Commander_ , rather than Lexa, since their conversation by the fire. _Heda_ noticed, though made no remark towards it. They spoke when necessary and chose to ignore the times they caught the other staring their way. Truthfully, Clarke had longer conversations with Indra during their trip than she did with Lexa. The _skaikru_ leader quickly learned that riding all day on a horse was tiring and monotonous if you didn’t have anything to distract you. After a bit of prodding, she was able to engage Indra into recounting tales of warrior battles and a few humorous stories about the children at the grounder camp. Lexa couldn’t help but smile at hearing the sound of Clarke’s laughter.

However, the majority of the time Clarke thought of Tesla station and her people being slaughtered. She didn’t even know what she would do once she reached her destination. Did any of them know? The young Griffin wasn’t even sure if there would be any survivors left once she reached the Ice Nation. These and other countless doubts swarmed her head incessantly. Listening to Indra recite her stories and watching Katya and Annika playfully compete were her only reprieves from her thoughts.

“You and Indra seem to be getting along,” Lexa commented later that evening as they had settled in for camp. It was their fourteenth day of travel and the Commander estimated that their journey was nearing an end.

“I think so,” Clarke responded lightly, burrowing her neck into the fur at her shoulders as a crisp, cold gust whipped through.

“Indra does not share her brave tales with just anyone, Clarke,” Lexa insisted. “She respects you.” Lexa was maintaining her horse as she spoke – checking its shoes, inspecting the harness, brushing her mane.

“Thanks, I –” Clarke smiled, surprised at the compliment. “Thank you.”

Lexa simply nodded in response before calling out to her Second. “Annika,” the young girl quickly left Katya who had been joining her in another intense game of _grounder checkers_ (Clarke had affectionately coined the name to herself.) “I need you to go fetch some food rations for the remaining of the trip. Berries, nuts, whatever you can find.”

Annika squinted slightly in response, slowly nodding her head. Lexa sighed disappointedly and then translated what she had said into _Trigedasleng_ for her Second. Annika was still a young warrior and English remained a foreign language to her; she was not yet fluent.

“I-I’ll go with her,” Clarke quickly volunteered. All the grounder women always seemed to have a task at hand or at least an activity to keep them busy. The sky leader was not accustomed to her idle hands and wished to help.

Lexa slightly opened her mouth to object, but simply nodded her head in agreement after a long pause.

Clarke followed Annika into a nearby wooded area. The Second had a bow and a quiver of arrows strapped to her back. The young Griffin was painfully reminded that she had no weapon save for her knife currently looped through her belt. She thought of Octavia and then decided to ask one of the warrior women to help train her with some of their weapons. The sky leader would be foolish to enter into unknown territory such as the Ice Nation without knowing how to handle their basic weapons.

Annika was small and spry and able to quickly maneuver the overgrown tree roots and low hanging branches. Clarke had a little bit more difficulty, but she refused to ask Annika to slow down. Clarke’s breathing was beginning to grow labored just as Annika paused at a small clearing, a gathering of berry bushes ripe for the taking. The _skaikru_ leader eyed the area cautiously as Annika began to fill her knapsack with the fruit.

“Here, let me help you,” Clarke offered, dismissing her wary feelings as exhaustion and paranoia. Annika furrowed her brows for a moment. “Uh... _sis yu_ ,” Clarke clarified, “help you.”

“Help,” Annika rolled the word around on her tongue. The Commander’s Second met Clarke with a half smile, “ _Sha_ , thank you.”

Clarke and Annika continued to gather berries in a contended, mutual silence. Occasionally they’d pop a berry into their own mouths, smiling as the juices squished around on their palettes. Eventually, they had filled both of their sacks and turned to make their way back through the lightly wooded area towards the other grounder women.

Clarke was following behind Annika again when she noticed that the younger girl’s gait was beginning to sway. Her walk was sloppy and stumbling, not at all reminiscent of the way she’d skipped and leapt her way through before. “Annika, are you a-“ The sky leader’s question was cut short as Annika tumbled to the wooded floor.

“Annika!” Clarke cried, kneeling over the Commander’s Second. However, as she lowered herself to the ground, her own head began to feel light, her eyelids droopy. “Anni-“ she began, her speech slurred. Slowly, Clarke crumbled to the ground as well.

 

\---

 

“ _Annika_!”

All three grounder women at the camp immediately tensed and looked towards the nearby forest. Lexa dropped her horse’s brush to the ground and began running into the woods as fast as her legs could move her. Indra followed in pursuit after barking to Katya to remain at the site.

The Commander was able to spot their two blonde heads just as the older one’s fell to the ground. “Clarke!” she yelled, pushing overgrown weeds out of her way forcefully with an armored arm. “No, no, no, no….” the Commander muttered as she dropped to her knees before the two girls. She unfolded Clarke’s hand to see the berry remnants. “Nightshade,” she hissed, glancing up at Indra as her Chief approached.

Indra stooped to check the pulses in their necks. Clarke still had one, though it was weak. Annika’s was gone.

“Grab her,” the Commander ordered, gesturing towards her Second’s body. Lexa proceeded to carefully toss Clarke’s body of dead weight over her shoulder, struggling, but determined. Indra cradled Annika’s small frame like a child, one leg under her knees, the other under her shoulders. She did not look at the girl’s face, simply forced herself to stare forward.

The grounder women worked their way back towards their campsite as quickly as possible, transporting the other two females. When they arrived, Katya had already laid out her medical supplies, preparing for the worst. The Commander released Clarke’s body onto one of the pallets her healer had laid out and simply said to Katya, “Nightshade.”

The healer quickly nodded and set to work with her vials and cloths and other utensils. Indra had stepped back from placing Annika on the neighboring pallet. Lexa turned to meet Indra’s eyes. Her Chief simply shook her head.

“ _Beja, fisa_ ,” the Commander pleaded with her healer as she stood beside Clarke. “Don’t let her die. She can’t.”

 

\---

 

Her body was so cold; the throbbing in her head would not fade. She tried to swallow, but her throat was too dry. Clarke turned to see Lexa sitting beside her, the Commander's back was slightly hunched and she was resting her elbows on her knees, wringing her hands in front of her. _Heda_ was staring at the ground; her face was composed, her fidgeting was the only indication of her fear or anxiety.

“Le-Lexa,” the sky leader managed to croak out, startling the _Heda_.

“Clarke,” she breathed a sigh of relief, moving to sit closer to Clarke. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel – can I have some water?” Katya was ready with a canteen of fresh water for the _skaikru_ leader. Clarke registered that the healer’s eyes were red and swollen, she also held a handkerchief type of cloth in her other hand. Indra stood a fair distance away, though her recently tensed body language conveyed that she could tell Clarke was now awake.

Clarke gratefully drank the water, moving to slightly sit up on one elbow, despite Lexa’s worried expression. “How is Annika?” The sky leader inquired.

Lexa didn’t meet her eyes for a brief moment, “She’s gone,” Lexa finally conceded. “Her body was too small. Too young. Her body could not move the poison as quickly as yours could, Katya said.” Clarke could see Katya’s shoulders softly shaking from sobs across the campfire.

“I’m so sorry, Lexa,” Clarke whispered, casting her gaze downwards.

“I should have taught her better,” Lexa spoke with finality.

“You can’t blame yourself for this, Lexa, this is no one’s fault,” Clarke reached out to place her hand on Lexa’s shoulder, seeking to comfort the Commander.

“Yes, I can,” Lexa spoke plainly, meeting Clarke’s eyes. She reached up to place her hand atop the sky leader’s, interlocking their fingers briefly. “You should rest, Clarke. We will leave again when you are well.”

Clarke moved slightly to protest, but the poison of the berries still lingered in her system and she was quickly lulled to sleep by the crackle of the fire and the warmth Lexa radiated beside her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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“ _Yu gonplei ste odon_.”

The Commander led the torch in her steady hand towards Annika’s wrapped body. The flames quickly spread over her former Second as the surrounding women watched. Katya was sniffling and dabbing at the corners of her eyes with the hem of her long apron that wrapped her waist. Clarke forced herself to watch even as the smoke made her eyes sting and water, her face worried. Indra and Lexa remained stoic, eyes forward.

Indra had worried that their smoke signal would alert any possible enemies nearby. However, it had only required one glare of warning from Lexa to silence her Chief’s concerns. The _Heda_ would give her Second a ceremony befitting a worthy warrior.

“I didn’t know Annika for very long,” Clarke cleared her throat, piping up. “But, she was strong. She was brave. And I could tell her heart was pure. She loved her people. And I think… she would have been honored by this.” The sky leader assumed their funeral customs were not the same as the grounders’. The _trikru_ seemed to remain silent and contemplative during their ceremonies. However, Clarke hoped her words were comforting for her travel companions. The _skaikru_ leader was distressed by seeing a life taken so young, like many others in the past few months, and she found solace in her own words as well.

Lexa turned towards the blonde, “Thank you, Clarke.” Her gratitude sounded sincere as she slightly nodded her head, agreeing with Clarke’s sentiments.

Clarke forced a weak smile in return as all four women stood before the fire, watching the flames climb upwards before ultimately dying down. The women looked on as Annika was reduced to ash. Finally, Indra spoke up, “ _Heda_ , we should move.” Her voice was soft, but assertive.

The Commander remained silent for a moment, staring into the smoke that surrounded them. “ _Sha_ , Indra,” she finally agreed, moving towards her horse. Katya had already packed away their belongings prior to Annika’s ceremony. The healer found that she felt most fulfilled when she was aiding the other women in one form or another; her capacity for self-sacrifice was a prominent trait. Staying occupied also provided a distraction for her from Annika’s death.

The four remaining women dutifully mounted their horses; the silence amongst them united them moreso than any words could have.

 

\---

 

“Up, Clarke,” Lexa slapped the bottom of Clarke’s elbow skyward for the third time in a row. The young Griffin had insisted on learning the basics of archery to defend herself since she realized they still had Annika’s bow and arrows. Clarke was having difficulty keeping her bowstring arm elevated, she instinctually tried to tuck it under towards her body.

“Up,” Lexa gritted her teeth, smacking Clarke’s elbow back up towards the blonde’s chin again as the sky leader pulled her bowstring towards her.

“All right, I got it, Lexa,” Clarke insisted, already growing irritated with Lexa’s warrior training. “You haven’t even given me an arrow to shoot with yet.”

Lexa was instructing Clarke on the proper stance and holding of the bow. “Why would I give you ammo when you don’t know how to shoot?” Lexa retorted.

Clarke rolled her eyes in response and as she did she caught sight of Indra smirking to herself several feet away. She _would_ get this. At least she had Katya’s silent encouragement, as the healer sat not far from them with a reassuring smile.

Lexa continued to work with Clarke on her stance and shooting late into the afternoon two days following Annika’s burning. The sky leader consciously forced herself to keep her mind on the task at hand and not Lexa’s close proximity as she stood behind Clarke, correcting her fingers on the bowstring or tapping her legs for them to be spread apart further. When the Commander finally allowed Clarke to hold an arrow, her fingers closed over Clarke’s as she showed her how to nock it to the bow. Clarke could feel Lexa’s breath on the back of her neck as her arms hovered over the blonde’s, guiding the _skaikru_ leader’s bowstring hand. “Steady, Clarke,” the Commander advised.

Lexa stepped back an inch or two as she nodded for Clarke to release her first arrow. Katya had created a makeshift target a fair distance away out of some stray pieces of wood. The sky leader’s arrow zoomed through the air and landed just barely on the wooden target, close to the edge. It certainly was no bullseye, but Clarke silently congratulated herself for at least hitting the target.

“Good,” Lexa commended, “Again.” The Commander handed the blonde another arrow. This militant training continued late into the evening, with only a few, short breaks when Katya ventured into the field to retrieve the shot arrows for the two leaders. By nightfall, Clarke’s arm muscles were screaming and the fingers in her bowstring hand were nearly numb.

The stars seemed especially bright that night and Clarke gazed up at them as she warmed herself by their campfire. The night sky was always comforting to the _skaikru_ leader. If she focused on the black, twinkling blanket above long enough, she remembered living on the ark and being surrounded by that enveloping darkness.

Clarke turned to watch Lexa. The Commander was sitting atop a small boulder, intently sharpening her sword. Lexa had told her earlier that they would reach the Ice Nation the following day; the tension of the unknown hung like a cobweb around them. Clarke now regarded Lexa with a new perspective. The Commander’s ability to be so selfless, and yet ruthless and strong-willed, was truly an impossible balance. Lexa’s loyalty and responsibility to her people would always come before anyone else, including the Commander herself. Clarke had grown to respect and admire this about her, rather than resent it. Since Clarke’s decision to end the Mountain Men, she had internally struggled with accepting the fact that she understood Lexa’s similar decision that day. The betrayal was still painful and raw, but with understanding would come forgiveness.

The sky leader moved to approach the Commander. Lexa was lost in her own thoughts as she fixated on the blade in her lap; Costia, Anya, Annika – her mind leapt from one ghost to the next. The _Heda_ rubbed the whetstone against her sword as if she believed the sharpness of her blade could bring back those she had lost. Lexa saw Clarke’s feet approaching out of the corner of her eye, snapping her from her contemplation.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Lexa asked quietly.

“You’re wrong, Lexa,” Clarke replied, causing the Commander’s eyes to meet hers. Clarke clenched her fists at her side nervously, but her gaze was strong.

“Clarke?” Lexa simply inquired, resting her sword on the boulder beside her. The sky leader’s behavior was concerning her.

“Love is _not_ weakness,” Clarke continued. Lexa blinked slowly in response, she recalled the sky leader bringing this argument to her once before when they stood in their command tent prior to the war. At that time, Clarke’s following words had bit at Lexa like a salted wound. The Commander visibly braced herself for Clarke’s remarks this time.

Clarke’s breath hitched before she continued.  She thought of Lexa's trust back in Tondc once she learned of what was happening to the Tesla Station survivors.  The way she had taken such care for Annika and wore her death like another chink in the Commander's armor.   Even the way Lexa had tirelessly trained Clarke earlier that day; if her constant sacrifice for others did not convey her care for others, Clarke wasn't sure what did.  “I know it’s not. Because when I am with you, you make me feel _so strong_.” The sky leader stretched her fingers out by her side before tightening them into fists once more.

Lexa stared at Clarke thoughtfully for a moment, the Commander’s eyes were so soft that it was difficult for Clarke to remember how they looked when they grew enraged and deadly during combat. The grounders’ _Heda_ slipped down from her elevated position on the large rock; Clarke took a half step back to allow room for Lexa on the ground. The grounder leader outstretched her right hand to cup Clarke’s cheek. “You don’t need me for your strength, Clarke,” Lexa spoke softly, “you make your own.”

Clarke smiled very faintly as her eyes darted from Lexa’s eyes to her mouth and back again. The sky leader raised her hand to enclose Lexa’s on her cheek as she leaned in to kiss the grounder’s lips. Lexa hesitated in the beginning, surprised at Clarke’s sudden affection, but her indecision disappeared as Clarke stepped forward, locking Lexa between the boulder and the sky leader’s body. The Commander kissed Clarke gently and with great care at first, though her pent-up hunger for the sky leader began to release as she dug her hand into Clarke’s left hip.

Lexa reluctantly retreated, taking a quick breath. The Commander slipped a lock of Clarke’s blond hair behind her ear, a small smile tugged on the left corner of her mouth. “Clarke,” she began, stopping to lick her swollen lips, “ _Ai hod y_ -“

Lexa’s confession was cut short when Indra shot up in her pallet on the ground, a small distance away from the two leaders, as the sound of gunfire echoed in the valley around them.

 

\---

 

“ _Ai laik Heda Leksa kom Trikru en ai gaf gouthru klir_ ,” Lexa identified herself, speaking in a way that demanded respect. Although her people were not accustomed to a climate as cold as the Ice Nation, the Commander stood defiantly, despite her boots begin half sunken into snow and her thick fur cloak flapping wildly in the wind.

After the gunshots the previous night, the four traveling women had hurriedly continued on through the night, seeking refuge in the nearby woods. By morning, they were spotted by the _Azgeda_ and led to the entrance to their village by the Ice Nation guards, though not too kindly. Clarke wasn’t quite sure what she had expected, perhaps something more fantastical and grand. The Ice Nation was covered in snow, fires burned rampantly across the village. There were thick tents as well as buildings made from the ground, a pure white; Clarke had read about similar dwellings that she knew as igloos.

The Ice Nation guard eyed Lexa cautiously. He wore thick clothing and armor to protect him from battle and the weather alike. His dark, coarse hair was grown out to his shoulders, and a long beard, adorned with flakes of snow, hung from his chin. Eventually, he grunted in approval and gestured for the four of them to follow him.

The guard led them to the largest igloo in the village. An Ice Nation banner waved boldly outside its entrance. “Our _Heda_ will see you,” the guard practically barked.

“Your _Heda_ is in Tondc with the _Trikru,_ ” Lexa replied suspiciously, her eyes scanned the village quickly. Clarke felt a lump rising in her throat. Indra subtly placed her hand on the hilt of her sword; Katya shivered.

The guard remained unaffected by Lexa’s confrontational remark and simply shook his head as if to convey that Lexa knew nothing. The Commander responded with a challenging eyebrow quirk.

“Let her pass,” the guard lazily gestured towards Lexa. “Kill the others.”

The other guards moved quickly, though not as fast as Lexa and her Chief. Both _Trikru_ women had their swords drawn and stood defensibly in front of Clarke and Katya. “You will have all of us or none,” Lexa snarled in warning.

“Then we will have none,” the guard growled in return, drawing his own weapon.

“ _Em pleni_!” A feminine, authoritative voice called from within the _Azgeda Heda_ ’s igloo.

The Ice Nation guards immediately stood down, backing away slightly from the _Trikru_ , though they neglected to sheath their weapons. Clarke could hear footfalls from within the igloo as a young woman stepped towards them. Her hair was as black as onyx stone and slipped in slight waves down to the small of her back. She wore traditional armor fit for a Commander, though a pelt of brown bear hide adorned her shoulders.

As the Ice Nation leader stepped outside towards them, Clarke noticed Lexa’s color drain from her face. The _Trikru_ commander blinked several times and looked as if someone had punched her roughly in the stomach, knocking all the wind out of her. Clarke had never seen her so shaken or uncontrolled.

The _Azgeda_ leader smiled serenely towards her, “ _Hei, Heda Leska kom Trikru_ ,” she greeted the commander. “ _Clarke kom skaikru_ ,” she turned her attention to the left of Lexa. “I don’t believe we have met. I am the Commander of the _Azgeda_ ,” she paused for a moment, “they call me Costia.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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Clarke had never experienced snow before.  It was much fluffier than she would have expected.  The sky leader had anticipated something harder, more solid, like the icicles that hung from the surrounding trees.  The snowfall was soft and the flakes tickled her cheeks as they trickled down from above. 

The blonde girl may have been more fascinated by the weather if she wasn’t almost certain she could hear Lexa’s heart pounding through her armor.  The Commander moved so quickly, not even the Ice Nation's guards reacted fast enough.  Suddenly, Lexa had her dagger in her hand, the pointed blade pressed against Costia’s throat.  Lexa’s words were bullets as they shot from her mouth, “Costia is dead, but you wear her face,” her voice broke, but was forceful.  “Who are you?” The Commander spoke deliberately through gritted teeth, each word emphasized. Costia was pinned between the entrance doorway to her igloo and Lexa’s body and knife.  Her guards all held their pointed spears and swords at Lexa’s back, waiting for Costia’s command, but neither leader paid them any mind.

“Who are you!?”  Lexa roared at the black-haired girl as her dagger pressed further into the fragile skin at her neck.  The _Azgeda_ guards advanced upon Lexa another step, to which Indra hissed as she slightly crouched with her own blade towards them.  Clarke reached behind to retrieve an arrow from her quiver, nocking it to her bow with quick agility as she, too, lined up her ammunition to be shot at one of the guards.  Lexa pinned Costia, the guards held their weapons to Lexa’s back, and Indra and Clarke pointed theirs towards the guards.  No one moved, not even to breathe.

“Alexandria,” Costia finally spoke softly, but with confidence.  The _Azgeda_ leader had a certain melodious effect to her voice.  “It is I,” she calmly insisted, as if she didn’t have a deadly weapon pressed to her throat.

Lexa hesitated, obviously confused, before slowly lowering her weapon, though she did not sheath it.  Indra’s voice was pained as she stared at her Commander, “ _Heda_ ,” she began, but Lexa silenced her with a raise of her hand.  Lexa hadn’t been referred to as Alexandria since she was a young girl, well before she was Anya’s Second, much less the _Trikru_ ’s leader.  Only those who had known her in her early youth knew that to be her true name. 

Clarke swore there were body bags for her heart hanging from her shoulders as she watched the way Lexa regarded Costia.  She knew the snow at her feet was actually quicksand.  She felt as if she was stuck in an airlock with no room to breathe, could have sworn one of the guards looked like Finn, would have bet her life or her blood-stained hands that the moon was turning black as if to tell her, _go back._

The sky leader hadn’t noticed that the others had lowered their weapons as she stood, in perfect stance as Lexa had taught her, bowstring drawn and ready.  Her hands refused to tremble. 

Costia’s voice snapped her back to reality.  “I know you must have questions,” she stated with feigned understanding.  “Come with me,” she nodded, her bear hide scrapping the ground below her as she turned and led the way inside her command center.

\---

The inside of the igloo was grander and seemed larger than it appeared on the outside.  Wooden tables were covered in rolled maps and stray weapons.  A large stone fireplace lined one portion of the wall, a determined fire blazed within to fight the cold.  Costia sat in her Commander’s throne, similar to Lexa’s, though paler in color.  Lexa had to force herself to place one foot in front of the other as she entered the central room.  Indra walked beside her; the Commander’s strength.    

Costia lazily swirled a cup of wine in her hand, legs crossed one over the other.  Clarke noted with loathing that the _Azgeda_ leader treated them like unexpected guests she was squeezing into her schedule.  The sky leader grew nauseated as she imagined how Lexa must have been coping with this reception. 

“Do you remember those nightshade berry bushes we used to sneak off to when we were younger, _Leksa_?” Costia finally mused, a slight smile tugging at her mouth.  Lexa didn’t respond, but Clarke thought she looked as if she were holding her breath.

This did not deter Costia.  She hardly noticed Lexa’s reaction as she continued her story, “I went down there one night to meet you.”  Her eyes twinkled maliciously as she watched Lexa, “But you weren’t there.  I heard something in the trees; I thought maybe you were trying to scare me.”  The _Azgeda_ leader turned her attention towards Clarke briefly, “Your Commander here used to be quite the playful girl before…” her voice trailed off with a flick of her hand.

“Get to the point,” Lexa managed through gritted teeth, though she shifted her body slightly to stand protectively in front of the sky leader as Costia addressed her, Clarke noticed.

“That was the night I was captured, _Leksa_ ,” Costia disclosed, her face communicated that she was annoyed with having to state the obvious.  “The _Azgeda_ brought me here to their Queen who proceeded to humiliate and torture me,” Costia raised her cup to her lips, “because of you,” she added as she took a sip.  Her air of superiority made it appear as if she was relaying a trivial matter rather than an event that completely altered Lexa’s life.

“You _died_ ,” Lexa was still committed to her version of the story.

“Not quite,” Costia smirked.  “After the Queen cleverly convinced you I was dead, I gave up hope.  I had thought maybe you would come after me,” Costia added with a sigh, “but you never did.”

Clarke could feel the heat radiating off of Indra’s body as she stood, enraged, beside her Commander.  Even Katya rested her hand on the small knife she kept tucked into her apron’s waist-tie.  The healer may not have been fluent in English, but she could read people.

“Depite all that,” Costia continued, unfazed.  “I agreed to finally cooperate with the Ice Queen when she threatened to kill you.”  The _Azgeda_ leader spoke flippantly, though she snuck a guilty glance towards Lexa, trying to read the Commander’s reaction to her last confession.

“Liar,” Indra hissed to the side of Lexa.  The _Trikru_ leader watched her Chief for a moment before taking a step upwards towards Costia’s throne.  Clarke noticed the Ice Nation leader tense slightly as Lexa invaded her space.

“They broke you,” Lexa snarled through her teeth, pausing between each word. 

Costia’s face quickly darkened as she stood, bringing herself face-to-face with Lexa. “I saved your life,” she snapped in return.

“At the cost of your spirit,” Lexa’s voice was dripping in hatred.  Costia had regarded Lexa as a snake, and she the charmer.  The black-haired leader had not expected her to bite back so spitefully.

“It was worth it,” Costia finally admitted, her voice uncharacteristically vulnerable.  Lexa met Costia’s eyes painfully, large brown depths she had once cherished.  They seemed so cold and lifeless now.

Costia quickly recovered from her weak confession and began to descend from her throne, brushing past the four women that stood before her. 

“Where’s your Queen now?” Clarke finally spoke.  The sky leader escaped her consuming thoughts long enough to recall the purpose of their entire journey: The Tesla station survivors.

Costia turned to inspect Clarke over her shoulder, “I killed her,” she dismissively confessed.  “ _I_ am the _Azgeda_ ’s queen now.  These are my people.”

“What flexible loyalties,” Indra snapped, “You bring shame to the _Trikru_.”

Interrupting Indra, Clarke continued agitatedly, “Well, _your people_ ,” she mocked, “are killing mine.”  The sky leader still held her bow in her hand, so tightly her knuckles were white.  It was the only thing stable around her and she desperately needed an anchor.

Costia met Clarke’s pleading eyes momentarily, “So they are.”  The new Ice Nation Queen turned to face the sky leader fully.  “Your _Skaikru_ attacked us first.  They call us savages and demand respect.  They dismiss our homes and claim this land as theirs.  They’ve slaughtered women and children and call that valor.  I assure you, _Clarke kom Skaikru_ , your people are not worth saving.”

“My people would _never_...” Clarke began, her chin beginning to quiver at the thought of her sky people treating the grounders so barbarically.

_“Shof op!”_   Lexa finally interjected from behind Clarke.  The grounders’ _Heda_ stepped between Clarke and Costia, scowling at the _Azgeda_ Queen.  “Show us,” Lexa demanded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: One of The 100 writers recently confirmed that Lexa IS short for Alexandria - so I didn't just pull that out of my ass! Like everything else... :P


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me at cattyblaise.tumblr.com for updates!
> 
> Trigger Warning: This chapter includes implied torture, minor violence, and implied non-con.

_His hand smelled of dirt and sweat as it slammed over Costia’s mouth.  The young_ Trikru _girl squirmed and clawed in his arms, but his grip did not loosen.  Her dark brown eyes widened in fear as he dragged her farther and farther away from her home at Tondc.  Whispered threats in_ Trigedasleng _lingered at Costia’s ear – threats to her family, friends, and her beloved Leksa._

Leksa would come for her, it was only a matter of time,  _Costia constantly reasoned to herself.  She knew that Anya’s Second would not abandon her now; she was sure of it.  Costia clung to these beliefs as the_ Azgeda _traveled with her back to the Ice Nation.  Though, at the time, she wasn’t quite sure where she was being taken.  Costia spent the cold nights tied up near the horses with only her thin dress, made for_ Trikru _climate, as coverage.  Some nights, the attending captors would brush at the bottom of her dress with their swords, muttering obscene suggestions that caused the hostage to cringe and curl up into herself.  Thankfully, they never touched her, though their leering and propositions were enough to sicken the young girl._

_By day, her captors refused to give her a horse, so she walked on foot, hands bound together in front of her as one of the Ice Nation guards held the other end of the rope.  The ground was brutal on her bleeding feet and the_ Trikru _often stumbled or tripped.  The_ Azgeda _simply dragged her behind when this happened, without looking back._

_Seventeen long and cruel days later, Costia arrived at the Ice Nation.  She had finally been given some proper attire, a fur or two to keep the cold at bay, if only to insure she didn’t die from hypothermia.  The Ice Nation Queen needed her alive._

_Costia’s lips were cracked and bloody, her hair was ratted and full of filth.  Blood ran from her legs and feet from the forced travel.  Her cheeks were sunken and her eyelids heavy and purple.  Costia inhaled shallowly as she was presented to the Ice Nation Queen._

_“Good,” the Queen responded curtly before gesturing for Costia to follow her._

 

_\---_

 

Surprisingly, Costia had obliged to Lexa’s request.  Perhaps it was an old tenderness she still held for the  _Trikru_  Commander, or it may have been a reluctant surrender to rid themselves of the  _Trikru_  as quickly as possible without starting another war among the clans. Whatever the case was, Clarke mentally prepared herself for what they may find.

Costia led them through a set of underground tunnels.  Clarke had briefly wondered how the Ice Nation managed to stay alive in such a harsh environment, however, there was an intricate network below their feet the entire time.  The igloos on the surface were simply a drop in the bucket compared to the civilization down below.  It was difficult for Clarke and the  _Trikru_  grounders to not study the tracks they walked alongside, or the aged paint in bright, bold colors decorating the cement walls, all left from an earlier time, before the Ark. Clarke filtered through the card catalogue in her mind and realized they must be in old tunnels humans had used for transportation, the subway tunnels, she thought, if she remembered correctly.  All her books and studying tended to bleed together over time.

The sky leader glanced towards Lexa, her throat going dry.  It was like Raven and Finn all over again and she couldn’t stop her stomach from turning over on itself.  Lexa was understandably lost in her own thoughts and didn’t notice Clarke’s wondering stares.  Everything Lexa thought she had known was completely flipped and distorted.  The Commander was supposed to be controlled and ahead, not stumbling behind, grasping for straws at her past.

“How can you trust her?”  Indra hissed a whisper to her Commander as she quickened her pace to walk beside _Heda_.

A flicker of annoyance crossed Lexa’s face as her thoughts were interrupted, though she turned to regard Indra with respect. “I don’t,” she quietly admitted, her jaw clenched. 

“Then why are you leading us to die?” Indra persisted.

“Do not doubt me, Indra,” the Commander warned, her stare lingered on her Chief’s face for a moment before turning towards Clarke.  The skygirl returned her gaze skeptically until Lexa reached down to clasp her hand into her own.  Clarke lightly squeezed.

 

\---

 

_“Will you eat or no?”  The Ice Queen spoke with repulsion towards Costia, pushing a metal plate of food towards the younger girl.  “All you have to do is tell me,” she attempted to lighten her voice, trying to persuade._

_Costia regarded the Queen with vengeful eyes before turning to spit on the women’s boots in response.  The woman’s green eyes widened in disgust as she extended her right arm to slap Costia roughly across her face.  The Queen was demanding travel plans, warrior names, camp locations – all of which was unknown to Costia.  Anya had relayed fairly little to her Second and Leksa never released those details to Costia.  However, the captured_ Trikru _refused to utter a single word to the Ice Nation Queen; she would never betray her people._

_“Do that again and I’ll cut out your tongue,” The Queen responded before turning to leave the chamber.  “Try to get her to talk,” she ordered one of her guards.  “Use any method you deem… necessary.”_

_Costia curled into the fetal position in the corner of her cell as the burly guard advanced upon her with a twisted smirk._

_This constant torture and sensory deprivation continued for two weeks.  To Costia, it felt like years.  Her only comfort rested on the fact that Leksa would never abandon her.  On the fifteenth day, her cell door opened with a shrill creak and Costia curled into the corner defensively, bracing herself for more torture and interrogations.  Instead, the two guards helped her to her feet and guided her down a long tunnel she did not recognize.  Her vision was weak, strength practically non-existent, and she could barely feel her feet as they scrapped against the gravel beneath them.  Her head bobbed as they moved her down the dark corridor, merely lit by torches._

_“Sit her down,” Costia cringed at the sound of the Queen’s voice as the guards rested her body in a nearby chair.  “Leave us.”_

_Costia was too disoriented from being malnourished and in too much pain from the torture to bother raising her head to inspect her surroundings.  Although, she assumed she was in the Queen’s chambers.  “You’ve suffered so much,” the Queen feigned sympathy, pushing a plate of food towards the_ Trikru _captive.  “Eat,” she commanded, “you’ll need your strength.”_

_Costia looked down at the plate before her that included a large meal of proteins and vegetables, nothing resembling the sludge they had served in her cell.  The black-haired girl eyed it skeptically._

_“I didn’t poison it, I need you alive,” the Queen reassured reluctantly._

_Tentatively, Costia began to eat.  She devoured the food quickly and uninhibitedly as if worried it would disappear before she finished.  The Queen remained silent until every crumb was gone._

_“I have a present for you,” the_ Azgeda _leader finally admitted, her wicked green eyes danced.  Costia looked on as she slid a piece of folded parchment across the table towards her hostage.  Costia regarded it suspiciously for a long, heavy moment before outstretching her arm to unfold it.  Her eyes fervently scanned the letter written in_ Trigedasleng _; it was a piece of correspondence from Leksa._

_“Don’t get too excited,” the Queen warned as she saw a flicker of hope erupt across her hostage’s face.  “She thinks you’re dead.”_

_Costia’s hands visibly shook as she rested the revengeful letter on the table.  “What did you do?”  she gritted out, the first words she’d spoken since she arrived._

_“She sent that with one of my messengers.  I had sent two to deliver mine.  She’ll pay for that,” the Queen remarked as an afterthought, leaving Costia’s question unanswered._

_“What did you do?” Costia asked again, her voice rising._

_The Queen absent-mindedly toyed with one of her braids, her long red hair swung down to her elbows.  She sat languidly in her throne, regarding Costia with disinterested eyes.  “What I had to,” she shrugged.  “Leksa will not come save you, girl.”  The_ Azgeda _leader rose from her seat and crossed the room to Costia.  “Did you honestly think she would?”  The Queen actually looked surprised as Costia blushed and fidgeted, embarrassed.  A sharp laugh left the redhead’s lips.  “You are dead to her.”_

_Costia eyed the letter painfully for a great amount of time.  The Queen was patient, though, and simply returned to her throne lazily as if time was not a construct for her.  Finally, the captured girl stretched her fingers over the parchment, bringing the tips down delicately before crumpling the page into a fist.  “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” she lied, surrendering._

_Satisfied, the Queen snapped her fingers. Two guards quickly entered the room dutifully.  “Take Costia to a guest chamber.  We will begin tomorrow.”_

_Costia was led down another maze of tunnels before arriving at a new room.  Though it was not nearly as lavish as the Queen’s, it actually had a bed and table and even some food rations and extra blankets atop the furniture.  The captured girl did not turn around as the door was closed and locked behind her.  Instead, she turned to the corner as she retched and vomited until there was nothing left in her stomach once again._

_\---_

“Here,” Costia finally announced as they reached a ladder on the cement wall, leading to the surface.  Clarke realized she could not find her way back to the Ice Nation’s command center if she had wanted to, they had taken so many turns and short cuts through the tunnels. 

One-by-one, each woman climbed the length of the ladder towards the top, where Costia lifted and slid a grate to the side.  The rush of cold air that flew in nearly caused Clarke to lose her footing on the aged metal ladder.  Lexa was below her and caught the sky leader’s boot with her right hand, resting it back on the appropriate step.  “Thanks,” Clarke murmured as she lifted herself higher. 

As all five women reached the surface again, Clarke heard the distant sound of hollering and gunfire again.  Lexa’s hand instinctually went to her sword, as did Indra’s.  “We are still on the Ice Nation’s grounds,” Costia advised “no need for that yet, _Leksa_.”  Lexa visibly bristled by being addressed by Costia.  Only Clarke noticed the slight trace of sadness that crossed the _Azgeda_ Queen’s face.

They continued on foot through the snow.  Clarke mentally retracted her earlier positive observations of the white powder; it stung and pierced her skin with its cold now.  She managed to glance at Lexa to see how the Commander was coping with the climate, but she had her cloak’s hood drawn over her head and her face was lost in the shadows of the cloth.  Costia appeared to be the only female that didn’t visibly struggle against the snow, as she had now grown accustomed to it.

“This is where I leave you,” Costia finally announced.  If they hadn’t been as close to the black-haired leader as they were, her voice would have been lost in the powerful gusts of biting wind.  Clarke finally looked up from her footprints to peer over the Ice Nation’s barricade to a snowy field.  In the distance, the sky leader made out ship wreckage she recognized from the ark.  There was slight movement on the _skaikru_ side, but Clarke was too far to recognize anyone, especially through the weather.

“You think you can lead us here to die and then crawl back into your hole?”  Indra finally unleashed, extending her sword towards Costia. 

The Ice Nation leader turned to Lexa as if silently requesting she control her people.  The Commander subtly nodded for Indra to retreat as she pushed the hood from her braided hair.  “If we walk into that field without warning, they will not know we mean them no harm,” Lexa forced herself to speak to Costia, though her gaze remained fixed on the opposing side of the battleground.  “They will shoot to kill.”

“They might recognize me,” Clarke volunteered, “if I can just get close enough to talk to them.”  The sky leader worried at her bottom lip as her eyes darted across the expanse of the _skaikru_ line. 

Exasperated, Costia glanced from the surrounding women to the _skaikru_ across the way, and back to them.  She quickly outstretched her hand towards Clarke’s neck, ripping the chain that held her father’s watch from the sky leader’s throat.  Indra and Lexa both advanced upon Costia threateningly as Clarke clutched at the space of skin between her collar bones, her mouth agape in surprise.  Costia proceeded to hand the watch and chain to a nearby warrior, spitting loudly and forcefully in _Trigedasleng_ to him, unaffected by the two grounder women’s intimidations. 

The _Azgeda_ leader returned her attention back to the four women that surrounded her as her warrior disappeared in the snow.  “Then we will send a message.”

 

\---

 

_The raven-haired girl hurriedly darted through the tunnels she had grown to become as familiar with as the lines that furrowed her former beloved’s brow.  She held an unsheathed dagger at her side and an urgent fear in her brown eyes.  Her footsteps were muted and deliberate as she balanced herself on the track’s railings, neglecting to crunch in the gravel.  Costia blended in with the dark shadows that were skipped over by the torches’ illumination.  Quietly, she made her way towards the Queen’s chambers._

_Since Costia’s agreement to cooperate, she had managed to feed the Queen enough artificial information to keep her interested, though her exploits had been fruitless.  Once or twice they had captured a group of_ Trikru _warriors, though that had been due moreso to coincidence than Costia’s insight.  The hostage had realized she needed to play the Queen’s game to survive and had quickly adjusted to the act of praising the Ice Nation Leader when necessary and supporting her when she was contradicted.  Costia teetered on a thin line pertaining to the Queen and quickly won her favor with her façade.  Though she was powerful and feared, she was truly gullible, and it didn’t take long for the Queen to appoint Costia as her Second.  Though, it was merely a formality as neither women were trained warriors; the Queen left the fighting to her guards._

_However, that morning Costia had overheard a conversation the Queen was having with one of her warriors.  She was ordering Leksa’s death.  Despite being abandoned by the_ Trikru _Commander, Costia was unable to bury her love for Lexa completely and she began to concoct a plan to derail the Queen’s intentions._

_Costia stood outside the Queen’s chamber, her hands nervously twitched at the dagger in her hand as she caught her breath.  After regaining her composure, she slipped her cloak over her hand, hiding the weapon she held._

_“Costia,” the Queen greeted warmly as she entered the room, “I called for you some time ago; I was beginning to worry.”_

_“My apologies, my Queen,” Costia’s voice slid from her mouth like a sweet syrup.  The Queen never worried; she was simply agitated at being forced to wait._

_“No matter, come sit,” the redhead invited, extending her arm to offer a seat.  “I have news to share.”_

_Costia sat calmly before the Queen, her face remained emotionless as she unveiled her plan to murder Leksa.  The_ Azgeda _leader thoroughly appreciated delivery and theatrics and made grand gestures as she recounted the plot to her Second.  Costia responded affirmatively when necessary, though her thumb pulsed against the hilt of the dagger beneath her cloak._

_The Ice Nation Queen sat expectantly as her Second stood, pacing the room, seemingly in thought.  “I believe your plan is flawless, my Queen,” Costia finally conceded with an encouraging smile as she crossed the room towards the_ Azgeda. _The leader nodded in agreement, satisfied with the validation from her former hostage.  “I can only see one problem,” Costia reasoned thoughtfully, as she approached the Queen carefully._

_“What?”  The Ice Queen demanded, though her body language conveyed she was growing suspicious of her Second as she slightly leaned away from Costia._

_Before the redhead could move another inch, Costia had clapped her hand across the Ice Queen’s mouth to prevent any screams, and slid her dagger across the pale, thin skin at her neck.  “Me,” she quietly admitted.  As the redhead’s hands flew to her cut throat, her green eyes met Costia’s with confusion and fear before the wicked life within them completely faded._

_“_ Yu gonplei ste odon _.”_

_\---_

The warrior returned quickly, though Clarke felt as if it were much longer as her feet began to numb in her boots.  He simply nodded favorably towards his own _Heda_ as the five women looked around them, shocked as the gunfire began to cease.

“This is going to work,” Clarke sighed, relieved.  Lexa met her eyes quickly, an encouraging smile crossed her face, though it did not quite reach her eyes. 

Costia did not seem as convinced as she led the way outside their barricade.  At a distance, Clarke could see several fellow _skaikru_ individuals making their way to the center of the battleground.  Lexa, Indra, and Katya followed in tow on their side behind Costia and Clarke. 

They were halfway to the mid-point in the field when the hair on Costia’s neck began to stand.  She peered suspiciously behind at her own _Azgeda._   Lexa regarded her for a moment, keeping a watchful eye on her.  “Is something wrong?”  The _Trikru_ leader asked, finally meeting the new Ice Queen’s eyes.  Costia merely shook her head, though her lips were pursed.

“Weapons!”  The opposing _skaikru_ members suddenly shouted as they pointed towards the Ice Nation barricade.  Instinctually, Costia dove in front of Clarke as an arrow pierced the cold air heading straight for the _skaikru_ leader.  All five women dove to the ground as gunfire erupted around them once more.  Crawling, they hurried back to the Ice Nation barricade for safety as the war erupted once again.

Behind the wall, Lexa looked down as blood began to leak out of Costia’s armor.  The _Trikru_ leader cradled the black-haired girl’s head in her lap.  Katya scurried to tend to the wound but Costia stilled her hands with her own.  Instead, she turned to face Lexa. 

“Why?”  Lexa finally asked, the question that had been hanging off her tongue since they had reunited, though had been too stubborn to ask.

“I had to survive,” Costia reasoned weakly, “And I was still hurt.”  Clarke’s animosity towards the _Azgeda_ began to vanish as she spoke with vulnerability.

Costia peered at Clarke for a moment before returning to Lexa.  “Do not love her as I loved you, with hate and vengeance in your heart, too.”  She struggled as she raised her hand to Lexa’s chest, “Love her here, purely, with your full royal heart, Alexandria.”

Lexa swallowed hard, a single tear dropping off her cheek then falling to coat Costia’s armor.  “That’s what you deserve,” the black-haired girl finally slipped out as the fire behind her brown eyes slowly began to fade.

The _Trikru_ Commander placed two of her fingers over Costia’s eyes, gently closing them.  “ _Yu gonplei ste odon_ ,” she whispered. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me at cattyblaise.tumblr.com for updates!
> 
> Trigger Warning: This chapter contains depictions of violence.

Bellamy placed his hand on the gun at his side as he watched a small group of  _Trikru_  approach Camp Jaha.  As they neared, the Blake boy noticed that they had their weapons sheathed and a few even raised their hands as if to convey they desired no conflict.  Though the battles between the grounders and the sky people had not continued after the war at Mount Weather, both parties still remained cautious.

The female Chancellor was on the other side of the Camp, though she also saw the approaching group and shot Bellamy a curious, warning glance as she began to make her way to receive them.

“We seek no blood,” one of the grounder men spoke once they were within earshot of Camp Jaha.  Bellamy relaxed just slightly as he regarded them skeptically.  “What do you want?”  He replied, glancing backwards at the older Griffin woman.

“The skygirl left with  _Heda_  two days ago,” a large man spoke, resembling the fallen Gustus, though his hair was shorter and he appeared several years younger than the Commander’s former protector. 

“You’ve seen Clarke?” Abby approached the fence, speaking to the grounders through it as she caught the end of the conversation.  Her voice was frantic, though she stood authoritatively with her hands on her slim hips.

The grounder representative nodded his head, “The Commander left with her to travel to the Ice Nation, but we have been betrayed by the  _Azgeda_  in TonDC,” he spat to the ground as he spoke the traitors’ name, “we believe _Heda_  may be in danger.”  He paused for a moment before adding, “As well as your leader.”

“She went where?”  Abby exclaimed, she could feel her hands beginning to shake as Bellamy’s face became anxious.

“Far North,” the grounder clarified.  He glanced around curiously, “You have not heard word from your skygirl, then?”

“What do you mean they went to the Ice Nation?” Bellamy asked, attempting to make sense of the situation.

“Skygirl had a black box that told her more of your people were being attacked by the  _Azgeda_ -“

Abby interrupted him uncontrollably, “More of our people?  You mean other Ark survivors?”

“A black box?” Bellamy spoke at the same time, his heart rate began to rise.

“Yes,” the grounder simply responded, visibly tiring of their questions as he discovered their ignorance on the matter.  With a nod to his following, he turned to leave.

“Wait!” The Chancellor called, moving to open the gate to the Camp.  “Where are you going?  Are you going to the Ice Nation?”

The grounders continued on their way, neglecting to turn around.  “We’ll go with you,” she volunteered, stepping outside the Camp.  “We have guns and people, we can help.”

The leader of the  _Trikru_  group hesitated, glancing at his followers.  None of the accompanying grounders outwardly objected, so after a brief moment the large leader jerked his head into a fleeting nod.  “We leave in one hour, with or without you.”

 

\---

 

Lexa draw in a deep breath before gingerly resting Costia’s head on the snow.  As she stood, the  _Azgeda_  turned to face her, some with fear in their eyes, others appeared outwardly defiant.  The Commander drew her shoulders back; her stare was hot coals.

“If another arrow or blade pierces a  _Skaikru_  or  _Trikru_ , those responsible will die by mine,” she thundered.  Clarke had never seen the Commander so full of rage.  Her voice was an earthquake demanding destruction, yet her message was one of peace. 

“You fight with  _Skaikru_?”  Costia’s murderer stepped forward.  He held a bow and arrow poised and aimed for Clarke, “You stain the title of  _Heda_ ,” he snarled.  He drew his bow back, though Indra’s reflexes were quicker.  A dagger shot through the air piercing his heart as Lexa drew her sword.  His weapon clattered to the ground before his knees did.  The surrounding  _Azgeda_  stepped away swiftly, their air of rebelliousness beginning to diminish.

“Who will follow him?” The Commander cried, standing beside Clarke protectively.  The sky leader held her own bow in defense.  The  _Azgeda_  glanced around at each other, before beginning to advance upon the four foreign women, ultimately undeterred by the killing of their comrade.  Clarke’s hands shook fearfully as she held her bow; however, Lexa turned towards her, her eyes lit with confidence and reassurance.  “Up, Clarke,” she reminded the blonde, before charging into the group of Ice Nation warriors with Indra at her side.  The sky leader held her bow with a newfound intensity as she pulled the string back and released her arrow.

 

\---

 

Raven Reyes was a fighter and it was only a day and a half before she was up and working again after her Mount Weather torture.  Wick had insisted she rest and fully recover, but she had dismissed his concerns with a sassy remark or two.  The mechanic and engineer were working together in their usual spot, as they had been for the past six months, when Abby barged in.  Raven self-consciously dropped her feet to the ground which had been lazily draped across Wick’s lap.

“Do you have a radio?” The Chancellor asked, her eyes desperately scanning the room.

“A radio? No, Abby, Clarke had the one we used… I mean, I bet I could rustle something up, maybe…” the mechanic’s voice trailed off as she approached the older woman carefully.

“Then make one,” Abby requested, already on her way out the door, “and I need it within the hour,” she hesitated at the threshold of the room, “we’re going to find Clarke.”

Raven scrambled to fetch whatever parts she could find at the time and was currently attempting to piece them together as she traveled with her fellow _Skaikru_ to the Ice Nation.  “I just need a damn battery,” the mechanic growled, bending a metal cooper wire with her teeth as she sat by the campfire the third night of their travel. 

The migrant group slept little, eager to reach the _Azgeda_ as quickly as possible.  At night, the two parties slept separately on opposing sides of the central campfire, still suspicious of one another.  They cooperated only due to the fact that they had a common enemy in the Ice Nation, much as they had done before with Mount Weather.

Wick sat beside the mechanic, feeling helpless as she continued to scrounge with her limited supplies.  He opened his mouth to offer her pliers, rather than having her use her molars, but instead his hand outstretched to pull the wire from her teeth.  “This is copper!” he exclaimed, eyes widened.

“And I’m Raven, and that’s Abby, and you’re a pain in my ass,” she responded, reaching for her wire with annoyance.

“Do you have a big nail or a screw or something?”  Wick asked, ignoring her jibe.  Abby and Bellamy began to approach as they observed the engineer’s excitement.

Skeptical, Raven rummaged in her meager toolbox before presenting Wick with a large nail.  “Yes, okay, perfect,” he lightly hopped as he snatched it from her hand.  His hands twirled the wire around the top of the nail with fine agility before he bent to stab the nail into the ground.

“That’d be great, Wick, if we were trying to hang a family photo on the…” she was interrupted as the engineer grabbed the radio from her hand.  “And abracadabra,” he spoke hesitantly, his tongue peeking out between his lips in concentration as he completed the circuit between the wire and the radio Raven had crafted.  The sound of white noise immediately began transmitting through the device.

Abby’s mouth hung agape as she looked on, “How did you…?” her voice trailed. 

“Well,” Wick began, “When you place a copper electrode and a zinc electrode in dirt or mud, the two metals start reacting, because zinc tends to lose electrons more easily then copper and because dirt contains ions…” his voice also faded as he realized everyone had tuned out as soon as he’d uttered _electrode_.  Raven was already eagerly scanning the channels they were receiving. After several twists of the dial, they finally managed to reach the same Tesla Station transmission Clarke had heard.  The mechanic allowed it play through twice as _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_ alike began to surround her to listen. 

“They’re killing them?”  Abby’s voice shook as she thought of her daughter.  An ominous silence shadowed over the group for a brief moment until the _Trikru_ began to dismantle their campsite.  “What are you doing? Where are you going?”  The Chancellor asked, afraid they were deserting the hopeless venture.

“We are going to the Ice Nation,” the current grounder leader replied, “ _Heda_ needs us.” 

The _Skaikru_ quickly followed suit; neither party would abandon their young leader.

 

\---

 

The brunette _Trikru_ Commander was slicing her way through the warrior line of the _Azgeda_ , her Chief at her side.  They swung their swords with a power that balanced between strength and grace.  Clarke stayed behind with her bow, she missed on occasion, but pierced when it counted.  The quiet healer stayed with her, fearlessly attacking any warrior that dared to invade Clarke’s archery space with her pointed dagger.  The sky leader was surprised to see Katya act so aggressively, though she supposed all grounders were raised to fight to survive despite their chosen paths. 

Lexa was growing weary; she had been penetrated in her right shoulder by an _Azgeda_ arrow, but had merely broken it off with her hand as her left continued to cut at her enemies.  Occasionally, she shook her head briefly as her vision began to blur from the blood loss.  Indra had also suffered a stab wound to her left leg, but she had not allowed it to her slow her pace yet.  The _Azgeda_ seemed endless to the four women, but they refused to surrender without a fight.

The Commander released a guttural roar as she swung her blade down to decapitate one of the _Azgeda_ that had stumbled forward towards her.  On her upswing, she penetrated the torso of another one approaching her; the stabbed warrior’s eyes slid from hostile to vacant.  Indra turned her blade towards a charging _Azgeda_ as another one approached her from behind.  Clarke released her bowstring as her arrow pierced the skull of the second warrior advancing upon the Warrior Chief. 

Indra noticed that her Commander was growing weak as blood began to drip from her shoulder wound onto her armor.  She stood before Lexa, acting as a human shield as her _Heda_ grew disoriented.  However, the Chief was quickly swarmed and not even Clarke’s arrows could stave off all the attackers.  The sky leader could not move quickly enough in retaliation as an _Azgeda_ warrior dodged past Indra’s sword, sliding beneath her arm to attack the Commander.  Lexa raised her sword weakly to defend herself; she was able to block the first blow feebly.  The young Griffin reached behind her to retrieve an arrow to protect Lexa.  Her hand grasped at the opening of the quiver desperately.  All of her ammunition was gone, lost in the snow or the bodies of those she had killed. 

Clarke dropped her bow to the white ground, recovering her dagger from her belt as she attempted to run through the snow towards the Commander.  Lexa blocked the second swing, though the force knocked her off balance; she rested her hand on the barricade to regain her stability.  The young Griffin desperately tried to increase her pace as her heavy booted feet sunk into the packed snow.  She watched with fearful, crazed blue eyes as the warrior’s sword came down upon Lexa, the Commander’s own blade not combating his blow this final time.  Clarke had reached the two of them as his sword pierced the Commander’s abdomen, the sky leader’s own dagger slicing across his throat from behind simultaneously. 

The _Skaikru_ blonde dropped to her knees in the snow beside Lexa, urgently applying pressure to the Commander’s wounds to slow the bleeding.  “Clarke,” Lexa managed to croak, idly raising her left hand to twirl a lock of blonde hair around her index finger.  “Death is not the end,” she repeated her own words from the time they had been hiding from the _pauna_.  Even in her own suffering, she sought to comfort the sky leader.

“No,” Clarke replied forcefully, “you are not dying.  Do you hear me?  You can’t die,” her voice shook as tears began to pool at the corners of her eyes, “I can’t lose you, too,” she breathed.

As Indra and Katya deeply struggled to fight off the growing _Azgeda_ surrounding their two leaders, a _Trikru_ horn sounded in the distance.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me at cattyblaise.tumblr.com for updates!
> 
> Trigger Warning: This chapter includes depictions of violence and a character death.

_“You’re cheating,” Lexa scowled, fingering the playing cards she held in her hand._

_“Its strategy,” Costia replied, placing a face card down on the table between them.  Both girls were in their late-teens and the brunette had been spending her days rigorously training to be a warrior for the past three years.  Costia found herself to have more of an affection towards the grounder children and thought she’d grow to be a teacher of their youth; although, she was proud of and admired Lexa’s bravery._

_The future Commander worked tirelessly each day, battling in the pit with grounder men twice her size.  Anya, the current Commander’s Second, had quickly taken notice of the spark that was Lexa, though she had already named her own Second in a small, younger girl who held a bow and arrow as if they were an extension of her own arm.  Although, Anya had mentally pledged to maintain a watchful eye on the fierce brunette trainee._

_“Your strategy is one of lies,” Lexa rebuked, growing irritated as Costia won yet another hand.  She_ _regarded her black-haired partner with full eyes that would eventually grow to darken in years to come, a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth._

_“And yours is nowhere to be seen,” Costia teased in response, as Lexa shuffled the cards back into a neatly packed deck._

_Costia outstretched her arm, clasping her fingers over Lexa’s as she stilled the movement over the cards.  The brunette looked up as Costia made her way around the table to stand on the other side before the_ Trikru _warrior.  The brown eyed girl outlined a gash that spread across Lexa’s upper right cheek with her free hand.  Her eyes worried, “Your training is leaving its marks,” she observed._

_Lexa quietly hissed at the pain as Costia’s fingers traced the minor wound.  “It’s just a scratch, Costia,” the brunette responded, gently pulling her partner’s hands from her face and interlocking the fingers with her own._

_Costia quietly sighed, nodding her head reluctantly as Lexa brought herself to her feet, standing beside the girl.  The brunette raised her hands to wrap around Costia’s neck as she lightly placed a kiss on her lips.  Lexa embraced her partner, dropping her arms to wrap them affectionately around her waist.  The future Commander inhaled the scent of the girl’s raven-colored hair, twirling a few pieces around her fingers lovingly until she noticed the color of her black hair had faded to a pale shade of gold._

“Get up,” Clarke spoke roughly through gritted teeth as Lexa’s eyelids fluttered, her fingers dancing in the hair that hung from the sky leader’s shoulders.  “Lexa, you need to get up,” Clarke insisted desperately, grabbing the Commander’s swaying hand as she continued to fade in and out of consciousness. 

Finally, Lexa’s vision focused for a moment on Clarke’s face and a moment of peace settled over the Commander amid the surrounding chaos.  “Clarke, _ai gonplei ste odon,”_ she echoed Anya’s words as she reached to caress the blonde’s cheek with her palm. 

“You fight is _not_ over, Lexa,” Clarke endured.  Her blue eyes were full of water and several drops fell to the snow.  “Our people are here,” she continued, refusing to pull her hands away from stopping Lexa’s wounds as more tears trickled down her cheek.  “They’re here, Lexa.  Your fight is here.”

 

\---

 

The grounder leader marched over the hill that looked down upon the battleground, Octavia and Lincoln flanking his sides.  Discerning individuals was impossible at this distance, though they were able to make out fighting on the _Azgeda_ side, brown _Trikru_ clashing against the misleading pure white of the Ice Nation warriors.  “ _Teik em laud tromon-de,”_ the leader called to a fellow grounder, ordering him to sound their horn for battle.  “ _Gon_ _Heda!”_ he cried, raising his sword to the air.

 _Trikru_ and _Skaikru_ alike spilled over the mountain towards the battlefield, an uncontrollable force that demanded war.  Their armor of earth tones conflicted with the white backdrop as if to say _you are not welcome here._   However, they treated the ground as their doormat and stomped through the snow without reservation.  Their charge was an unforgiving one and the chant of _jus drein jus daun_ was torn from their mouths, inhaled back in like it was their lifeblood.  Their brave hearts trembled, though their hands were steady.  The new alliance was a train, and the _Azgeda_ their tracks, as they bared down on them powerfully.

Octavia wielded two swords, twirling them tauntingly by the hilts as she beckoned an Ice Nation warrior to come towards her.  “ _Ai laik Octavia en yu gonplei ste odon_ ,” she bitingly provoked before charging the _Azgeda_.  One sword pierced his abdomen, while her other caught the shoulder of another advancing warrior.  Her braids danced as she did across the battleground, one victim laid before her feet after another.  On her sides, Lincoln and Bellamy attacked with her, sword and gun in hand, respectively.  Slicing and bullets, stabs and gunfire erupted around them.  Blood formed a river behind them, as the _Azgeda_ became their own ground. 

Soldiers fell on the side of the alliance, though the _Azgeda_ deaths greatly outnumbered them.  They would mourn for their fallen later; their leaders demanded their attention now.  Octavia’s breathing was growing labored just as she noticed her fellow _Trikru_ and _Skaikru_ not far in front of her.  “Clarke!” she called, as her sword found yet another side of an Ice warrior.  However, her relief turned to dread as she saw the frantic expression on Clarke’s face as all of her other accompanying women laid upon the snow, pools of red beneath them. 

The _Azgeda_ fell swiftly one-by-one to the weapons of the crushing alliance and the warriors to the side of the Chief’s former Second carved a way for Octavia as she rushed to her sky leader’s side.  Her eyes dashed from Indra to Katya to settle on Lexa, the Commander’s wounds barely slowed by Clarke’s blood-stained hands.  “We can save them… we still can… we just need…” Clarke’s shaking voice trailed off as she increased her pressure to the fading _Heda_.

Octavia’s knees found the ground as she stooped beside her Chief, her hand meeting Indra’s outstretched one.  “I told you that you were no longer my Second,” the Chief hissed, though her eyes were soft.  Octavia ignored her remark and quickly scanned Indra’s armor to find the source of her wound.  “I am not wrong often,” she continued, her breathing growing difficult as blood began to dribble from her mouth.  “And I was not wrong about you.  You bring _Trikru_ pride.”  Octavia finally met her deep brown eyes as her own began to grow damp.  “You are not my Second,” she barely managed, “You are Chief.  You will lead the TonDC tribe now.”  She nodded as if her word was law, not seeking approval from Octavia.  “You protect my people now, Octavia _kom Trikru.”_  

“Indra,” Octavia’s voice pleaded as her hand stroked the forehead of her Chief.  Her chin quivered as her tears found her cheeks and her mentor’s eyes fell closed in peace.  “I will protect your… our people,” she corrected, finding a new strength in her voice as she squeezed Indra’s lifeless hand. 

 

\---

 

“Abby?”  A gruff voice called from the wreckage of Tesla Station as the Chancellor approached, waving a white flag she had fashioned from a deceased _Azgeda’s_ cloak. 

“Yes!”  She called hopefully, increasing her pace towards the other _Skaikru_ , though they remained fairly wary.  She couldn’t quite recall the name of the man that called to her, though she recognized his face from the Ark.  He was slightly younger than her, with sandy blonde hair and green eyes that had seen much more in the past few months than they ever had on a ship in the sky. 

Several grounders trailed behind the Chancellor, carrying their _Heda’s_ weakened body, as well as Katya and Indra.  Clarke was also following, keeping a watchful, determined eye on the Commander.  Octavia walked alongside the grounder that carried the former TonDC Chief, her hand ready at her side atop her sword.  The Tesla survivors visibly tensed as they saw the grounders, reaching for their weapons.

“No, we come in peace,” Abby insisted, closing the gap between herself and this man who appeared to be the leadership for Tesla Station.  “They mean you no harm, they’re working with us,” she quickly explained.  “We’re here to save you, but first, we need access to any medical stations you may have,” her eyes searched his desperately. 

The male hesitated for a long moment and Clarke’s heart was a brutal boxing match, taking another hit with each second that passed.  “I will explain more later, but right now every minute is crucial and I need a medical space,” Abby persisted, her voice strong, but pleading.  The sandy blonde gave her a curt nod before indicating for her to follow him as they traveled further into the wreckage.  The Tesla survivors had created a makeshift home out of their former ship, much like the 100 had done with their dropship, and the Chancellor and Kane had done with the Ark. 

The Medical Bay was cold and stale.  Their supplies were limited and the Tesla Station survivors regarded the _Trikru_ with skeptical eyes.  Despite Abby Griffin’s convincing to allow them passage into the survivors’ territory, they kept weapons near at all times, unwilling to trust the grounders despite their recent defense of the _Skaikru_.  The _Trikru_ acted unbothered by it; their concern was consumed by the survival of their _Heda._

“Clarke, you can either help, or you need to give me space to work,” Abby rolled up her sleeves in the bay, pouring alcohol over her hands as the grounders rested Lexa’s body upon the medical table.  The older Griffin turned towards her daughter with softened eyes for a moment before admitting, “I missed you.”

Abby’s words were a connected embrace and Clarke folded into them briefly before nodding in response, “I’ll help.”  She stood straight.

Dr. Griffin called for various medical utensils and Clarke obliged accordingly, her eyes never leaving Lexa’s eyelids.  The Chancellor’s nimble fingers stripped away the Commander’s armor, repairing her wound carefully, stitching her abdomen as if the Commander was her past transgressions and the needle, her redemption.  Her eyes finally found Clarke’s mid-procedure and she realized she could not let another of the sky leader’s loved ones fall at her own hand.  Her father may have been a victim to circumstance, but Lexa would not.  She _would_ make this right. 

Lexa slept in her cot for ten hours, heart rate stable, though her body burned with fever.  After Dr. Griffin’s surgery, Clarke had neglected to leave her side.  The sky leader threaded her fingers through a piece of braided hair she managed to cut from Costia’s fallen head, a gift she planned on presenting to the Commander when she woke, out of respect for grounder traditions. 

It was early morning the following day when the Commander’s lids finally fluttered to a meager opening.  Clarke sat alone in the medical bay with her, everyone else tending to politics with the Tesla survivors, or preparing for retaliation from the _Azgeda_ along the _Skaikru_ barricade.  The sky leader had assigned herself to monitoring the Commander’s vital signs and no one had contested it.  Clarke had taken solace in the silence of the bay and found comfort in the rise and fall of Lexa’s ribs as she drew breath.  It had been too long since Clarke had felt safe.

“Clarke?” The Commander managed, turning her head to regard her caretaker. 

“It’s okay,” Clarke responded, smiling meekly as she repeated Lexa’s words from an earlier time, “you’re safe.”

Lexa eyed the lock of hair Clarke fidgeted with in her hands.  “It’s Costia’s,” the sky leader explained, “I thought you might…” her voice trailed as she placed it in the Commander’s hand.

Her hands twirled the locks thoughtfully before Lexa rested it on the bedstand beside her.  “That was not Costia,” she replied.  “What you saw – that was a different person.”  The Commander stared at the cut braid for a moment, “She was only herself at death, taking that arrow for you.”  Lexa sighed, “She did die well and I can ask for no more than that.”  Her eyes trailed to meet Clarke’s, “I buried Costia a long time ago.  I do not mourn any longer.”

The Commander’s hand moved to place her palm against Clarke’s cheek.  “You did not leave me to die.”

“Let me guess, that was weakness?”  The sky leader responded, though her voice was more tired than biting.

Lexa paused, considering, “No, you were right.  What is between us is not weak, it is only strength,” she admitted, “and heart.”

Clarke leaned into Lexa’s light touch, regarding the Commander with deep blue eyes.  A guilty, relieved sob escaped the young Griffin’s mouth as she bent to rest her head upon Lexa’s shoulder.  The Commander laid an affectionate kiss atop her blonde curls, quietly murmuring into the gold, “Let’s go home, Clarke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be writing one more chapter/epilogue to wrap this part up and introduce what will be Royal Heart: Part II. :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me at cattyblaise.tumblr.com for updates!

Clarke crossed the expanse between the  _Skaikru_  and  _Azgeda_  lines, Octavia at her side, both representing the sky people and the tree people.  With Indra’s recent passing and the Commander’s current condition, the young Blake shouldered the responsibility for representing the  _Trikru_.  Upon learning of the appointment, Lexa had met the news with a heavy silence.  Finally, she had admitted, “Indra was wise,” she had licked her lips thoughtfully.  “I will trust her decisions, even in death,” the Commander hesitated before remarking, “though, you have much to learn, Octavia.”  The new TonDC Chief had nodded in deference as she began to sink into the thick weight of leadership which Clarke and Lexa had become so accustomed to. 

“Yes,  _Heda_ ,” Octavia had responded with respect, “I will take whatever guidance you offer.”  Lexa merely nodded at this, satisfied with the Blake girl’s submission.

Now the snow crunched under their booted feet as Clarke once again traveled to the mid-point on the battleground, hopeful that no stray arrows would find their way to her this time.  The young Griffin turned towards the new Chief as Octavia spoke, “Look, I’m sorry about what I said, you know, before you left.”  She sighed, brow furrowed as she grappled with her guilt, “I didn’t mean it, Clarke.  I was just… so angry.  And I felt betrayed.  But I understand now.  What you do,” her hands gestured behind them towards the Tesla Station where the Commander laid, “what the Commander does… takes a lot of guts.”  She nervously fiddled with her sword hilt, “I hope I can be a leader like you two someday.”

Clarke’s blue eyes softened as Octavia watched her footprints, embarrassed at her admission.  “You will,” the sky leader encouraged, “Lexa is right.  Indra was wise.  And she loved her people and she chose  _you_  to lead them.  Don’t forget that.”

Octavia’s shoulders swelled and straightened at Clarke’s encouragement as she met the sky leader with a small smile.  They were not far from the approaching  _Azgeda_  representatives and they both dutifully turned their attention to the two large men that moved towards them, the two men that had been sent as Ice Nation representatives to TonDC prior to the war. 

The larger male spoke first, the whitened strands of hair framing his face intermingled with his beard.  “I was Costia’s Second,” he informed the two girls that stood before him.  “I lead the  _Azgeda_  now.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Clarke began.  The new Ice Nation leader seemed surprised by this declaration, though Octavia silently observed that this was merely a reflection of Clarke’s character.  Despite her own losses and the guilt she carried for the sacrifices she had made, the sky leader’s capacity to empathize with others was never full. 

“You seek a truce?”  The  _Azgeda_  leader continued, refusing to display any form of weakness, even in regard to his former Queen. 

“Yes,” Clarke acted undeterred by his desire to only speak of the aftermath of the battle.  “Once our people are well enough to travel we seek safe passage to return to TonDC,” she replied simply, though her eyes regarded him carefully.

“You slaughter many of our people,” he spoke vehemently, his fingers clenching into fists, “and you wish now for peace?”  He spat to the ground to convey his distaste for the concept.

“Look,” Clarke began.  Her shoulders were back and her step heavy.  She was tired.  Clarke wanted nothing more than to feel something that wasn’t sharp rules, thick language, slaps on the wrist, fire for the dead.  One day, she wanted to feel again like the lungs of a newborn baby that’s been slapped from behind to make sure it was real.  One day, she wanted to put her wet finger to the air, feel the wind against her skin, and point in the opposite direction saying _that’s where I’ll go._   One day, she wanted to run her nails down the back of the sun so she could keep pieces of the star in her nailbeds to curl up with when she was just too lost. 

But, today was not that day.

“You’ve lost a lot of men,” she continued.  “So have we.  I know you’re tired and hungry and you need to mourn.  So do we.  I believe that neither of us want this war; neither of us want more dead to burn.”  Her blue eyes poured into his as she spoke, “You and your people are no longer welcome in TonDC.  And we will never return once we leave.”  She outstretched her forearm, giving him the opportunity to clasp it with his own in agreement. 

The _Azgeda_ drew in a deep breath and Clarke inwardly tensed, bracing for his reaction.  His arm gruffly grabbed hers as a covenant; he roughly spoke, “You have two days.”

 

\---

 

The caravan home was a long and tiresome bunch.  The _Skaikru_ from the Ark dreaded making the tedious trip again so soon, though the Tesla Survivors held an air of hope as they headed towards their new home.  Clarke and Lexa led their people towards TonDC, furs being shucked one by one as they traveled father into warmer weather.  The sky leader maintained a caring gaze upon the Commander, as she was not nearly healed enough to be making such a trek.  However, Lexa gave no sign of discomfort save for the precise way she held the reins away from the wound across her stomach. 

“That was not your call to make, Clarke,” Lexa had spoken on their first day of travel, referring to the pact she made with the _Azgeda_ on behalf of both of their peoples.  The sky leader turned towards the Commander, her brow furrowed in frustration and a small portion of hurt.  “Though, it was a good one,” Lexa amended, bestowing a slight smile upon the blonde.

A wash of relief slivered down Clarke’s bones.  It was not simply the hint of encouragement and gratitude in Lexa’s voice that she found comfort in, though her words carried much weight.  Clarke had felt such disappointment from those she loved the most.  Jasper had cried to her as if she wore Maya’s blood on the soles of her feet.  Octavia had washed her hands of the sky leader like she was a taint on the Chief’s fingertips.  Her own mother had even regarded Clarke as if she had been a cancer that must be cut.  Clarke dispersed herself into Lexa’s words; they were a shoulder for her to curl into.

That evening, they had dismounted their horses quickly, eager to rest.  The warriors circled the animals, creating a safe space within for the campsite.  The _Trikru_ people had created a tent for their _Heda_ , before moving on to make their own temporary homes.  Lexa stood at the entryway of her tent, the flaps of the cloth breaking against her shins.  Clarke met her green eyes from across the way, her mouth curving upwards to one side as she oversaw the construction of the rest of the campsite.  They communicated in an unspoken language of understanding and strength, two pillars to the same crown. Though they were both aware of what grew between them, their people would come first.  The mutual acceptance of this fact only bonded them together in a fused pattern only they could comprehend.

The Commander nodded her head to bid her good-night before disappearing within her tent for the evening.

_One day._

 

\---

 

 

Miles and miles away over bodies of water and landmines and drones that flew the sky from a time before, a woman named Alie reigned, Jaha served her, and Murphy was scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That concludes the first part of Royal Heart! If you like it, please do not hesitate to comment, kudos, or share with your friends/on your blogs. I will be posting the beginning of Part II soon. Thanks for reading! :)


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